Kimberblog!

The Knitted Playlist

2012-02-03T22:10:00.001+08:00

For the fifth year in a row I'm participating in Thing-A-Day, creating something new every day for the month of February.

I'm kind of a champ at it, so I decided after knitting the first "Tiny Alien" that everything will be knit. And the title of a song from my iTunes library.

So far, we have:

"Tiny Alien" by Katie Melua

"Firecracker" by Lisa Loeb

"Piggy" by Nine Inch Nails

Nothing artsy or obscure, and no stretching it. Just concrete-noun song titles produced with yarn.

Follow me here. This is going to be amazing.

My new baby!

2012-01-09T23:44:00.002+08:00

Shekou Proper is live!

I'm nursing to maturity a brand new web site focused on all kinds of fabulous things in Shekou.

Shekou's my little corner of Shenzhen, China, and I really like it here.

There are a whole bunch of amazing gems in this neighborhood, and I'm having a lovely time finding them and sharing them with you.

Bookmark this site if you live in Shenzhen or plan on visiting the mainland!

Thanks.

2011-11-12T11:27:00.000+08:00

My dad posted this picture on Facebook.

That's my Grampy Bustard front and center. The rest, left to right, are my uncle Alden, my dad, and my uncle Carl.

"Four Vets Nov 11 2011," he called the photo.

Being a vet is one thing, I thought when I saw it, but what about when your service is done? Then what? And the answer to that question, the question of how they're living back home and off the base, is what makes me a whole lot more proud of these guys.

Honestly, I don't know my grandfather very well, so I know a lot less about his younger days. I know for sure, though, that the rest are living full and rich lives, still serving the people around them every day, making our country even greater in tiny little ways.

And that's even more important.

a poem for the man at the border crossing

2011-10-20T13:50:00.001+08:00

Is that your bucket? Do you rent this space?

by Kimberly Pye

I don't think I'm being

too cynical here

to drop the five yuan

into your bucket

and then wonder

if you,

without your legs

but for a few inches

(enough to hold you upright

and scoot betwixt

the taxi lines)

and without your arms

but for a few inches

(enough to hold

your casino sized plastic bucket

now quite fluffy

with crumpled bills

and the thudding jingle

of coins in the bottom),

maybe, are the puppet

of some greater force--

the slave or whore or what have you--

playing the role

I've seen a thousand times

staged by women and children,

but you?

a worthless

(not my words!)

cripple?

I hope

I really hope

whoever he is

lets you keep

enough to eat

and takes you there

and feeds you

so you don't have to eat

like a dog,

the way you're begging now.

Quite Contrary

2011-09-26T17:15:00.000+08:00

I'm a sucker for novelty gardens.

I got this peppermint-plant-in-a-can for RMB18 at a toys-and-other-things-you-don't-really-need store at the Book Mall in Futian.

I've never had any kind of luck with these. And the fact that the directions were all in Chinese doesn't bode well. But we'll see.

Small Batch Single Malt Scotch Whisky Cookies

2011-08-31T16:47:00.003+08:00

I bought three kilograms of flour at the market this morning, and so far my oven has been running for about four and a half hours straight.

I've mostly stuck to the tried-and-true recipes (getting ahead on bread baking, making cookies for friends, etc.), but I also veganized a gingerbread cake for the whisky club meeting tomorrow. AND (this is the important part) I also invented whisky cookies.

This recipe makes just a few cookies (a little over a dozen), so go ahead and use the most expensive single malt you own. I probably wouldn't use anything too smoky though, but whatevs: it's your choice. It could be awesome. I used the Macallan Select Oak we got at a duty free shop coming home from somewhere on a ferry.

Click on the image below and work from your computer (mine constantly has kitchen-ick on it) or print it and keep it handy for your next single malt party.

Cookies made with the water of life? Cheers to that!

Dread Story, Part Two

2011-08-29T19:19:00.002+08:00

(Part One is here.)

It was Open Mic Night at McCawley's. I looked to the back of the room, and there was a Filipino with the longest dreads I've ever seen in real life, carefully tied up and casually draping over his shoulders.

Trying out for the first time the phrase my friends in Togo have heard between their dready neighbors (and use in messages to me occasionally), I approached him and said, "Respect, big rasta!" (Except I'm just a little rasta.)

It worked. And wasn't weird at all. (I've since gotten "Respect!" from dready strangers. I like these people. They're a good bunch.)

He liked the blonde dreads, but he knew as well or better than I did that they needed work. Within minutes we were on the landing exchanging phone numbers and discussing how he could make my dreads tighter and neater.

A couple weeks later I went to his apartment, parked in a chair, and learned the true meaning of "no pain, no gain" (which he kept repeating when he could tell I was maxing out).

Carlo tirelessly tightens.

Another seven-hour session later, my scalp was super tender again, but my dreadlitos were tight and noodle-y like they should be.

You can't see my dark roots!

I love them even more now, but I have ages to go before I to get Carlo's length!

And there's no one else in Shenzhen or Hong Kong doing work this good. I'm pretty sure.

Respect, brother.

Doing Lines

2011-08-24T12:17:00.006+08:00

A good way to start the day?

Make art before you even get dressed.

Clicken to embiggen.

Doing Lines.
Colored pencil and black marker
on 140 lb. acid free watercolor paper.
6"x9"

I found this project on Pinterest, added it to my To-Do list, and knocked it out in a couple hours this morning while still in the clothes I slept in. The full tutorial is here.

I'm totally in love with it, but it's hard to take much credit for something that practically makes itself.

(Made one? Show me!!)

Proof That I'm Unwell

2011-08-17T09:51:00.001+08:00

I absolutely don't mean to imply that you hadn't already figured it out. I only wish to confirm what you've suspected.

I found a pattern on Ravelry two days ago. By the time the night was over, I'd paid the $5.50 so I could start knitting it.

It's the Beekeeper's Quilt by Tiny Owl Knits.

If crack had a hobby, it would be knitting these itty bitty hexagons.

I've finished five of them. Rumor has it I only need about 379 more for 2'-by-3' quilt.

I'm knitting them in sock yarn with probably-size-4 needles (I just grabbed some and I can't find my needle-size-checker). Each one takes about 30 minutes.

My own mother called me crazy.

DIY Root Job

2011-08-03T14:31:00.005+08:00

Buy a bucket of L'Oreal High Performance Quick Blue and some developer lotion. Mix it up. Apply to head with a salon paint brush thingy. Wrap head in plastic wrap. Wait. Rinse. Wash. Go buy yourself something nice for a fraction of the price of going to Hong Kong and paying someone to do all that for you.

Smelly.

I originally bought the Oreor Creme Developer called for on the big tub, but I left it behind in the rental car in Los Angeles. I found the salon-supply street in Hong Kong and bought Goldwell Topchic Developer Lotion (6%, 20 vol.), so I'm using that instead.

I highly recommend you try bleaching your own roots (if this is something you have to do anyway, obviously). If you're nervous, bake some cookies or whip up a few cocktails for a girlfriend (cocktails AFTER she's attacked your head!) and have her do it for you.

I was going to have my husband at least do the back, but I rarely follow through with well-thought-out and reasonable plans. I get an itch and just go for it.

And so far it's worked, so don't expect that to change.

Dread Story, Part One

2011-07-28T11:32:00.004+08:00

After weeks and weeks of massage and pressure point therapy, I went back to the doctor who had sent me to the therapist. Clearly the pain in my upper leg was from a worse condition than we all originally thought, so she ordered an MRI for the next afternoon.

Going back home to Shenzhen seemed a bit silly, so Dan booked me a hotel room near Lan Kwai Fong. I was in Hong Kong alone for the night (Dan was in Shanghai on business) and found myself wandering the streets, writing, and talking to strangers.

I heard live music when I was walking back to my hotel room. I went inside and discovered Afrosonic Orchestra, a project led by Theo Croker. (They were fabulous!)

Mr. Croker has a Wikipedia page.

(And holy crap! I just realized he's younger than me!)

And basically, I fell in love with Theo's dreadlocks (and the dreads on the other trumpet player, but I can't figure out who he was...).

I went back to my room, found a really mean email in my inbox, tearfully called my mom in America (and scared her to death, but in the end she made me feel all better -- of course!), and then left the room for some water (my mouth was en fuego from my super-hot felafel wrap). I found a wine bar that was still open at 2 AM and only serves California grapes and made a new friend from San Francisco.

That's when the seed was planted. (I like that all of these memories, good and bad, are tied together and stuck in my hair.)

I had my MRI the next morning (and later found out my hip had cracked a bit when part of my hamstring tore off it), and told Dan over the phone, "I want dreadlocks." He had left me alone for several days; he wasn't surprised that I had come up with some new crazy idea.

I'd spent all morning browsing the web for pictures and information and started this collection on Pinterest (and it keeps growing, so follow it if you wanna!):

Clicking the image will take you to my All Things Dreadful collection.

See all of my other Pinterest boards here.

I found a salon in Hong Kong that didn't want 8000 HKD (?!) and got backcombed and twisted the next week. (It was kind of an emergency; I left for Ireland the next day, and it seemed like a good milestone to do something extreme.)

Wee cows in Ballyclare, Northern Ireland.

Seven hours of torture later, I was waxy and knotty. And it's one of the best decisions I've ever made! (Going blonde was a good one, too.)

(Part Two, now here, is where I found someone in Shenzhen who offered to make them look way better!)

Quick Almond Bread

2011-07-09T16:33:00.006+08:00

The man was visibly upset when I told him I'd thrown out the rest of the old dried-out beer bread I made the other day. Honestly, I'd meant to save it and turn it into croutons, but I just forgot, okay?

So I said I'd make more. But we didn't have any crappy cans of beer in the house (I usually use one of the many cheap adjunct lagers China is famous for), so I offered to make a nut bread instead. He accepted.

The heel is gone. I ate it immediately out of the oven.

What follows is an adaptation of the Quick Nut or Date Bread in Joy of Cooking (1975 edition; don't get the new one, please, for the love). It's been veganized and simplified. Go ahead and switch out the nut if you want. I don't care. The recipe won't care. It'll probably be grand.

Quick Almond Bread

2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1/2 cup sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
2 tbsp canola oil
1-1/2 tsp Ener-G Egg Replacer mixed with 2 tbsp water
1 cup unsweetened soy milk
3/4 cup raw almonds, finely chopped

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (190 degrees C). In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. In medium bowl, mix together egg replacer and soy milk. Add oil. Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients, and mix well. Fold in chopped almonds. Spread evenly in greased loaf pan and bake about 40 minutes.

S.T.U.B.S.

2011-07-08T12:02:00.004+08:00

Earning the top spot in The Coolest Things We've Done in China, last night we attended for the first time a Shekou T[something] Uisge Beatha Society meeting at a Spanish tapas restaurant in Shenzhen.

Think of a bunch of old smart guys around a table saying things like "peaty," "caramel," and "I'd give this an 85." Add our young Australian friend who recruited us and Crazy Yours Truly (the only lady there that night), and the night gets pretty darn interesting.

Most of the people were old veterans of the club, but we and another nice fellow named Tom were newbies. (Tom also knows my buddies at McCawley's Irish Pub, so we went there after and exposed our mutual friendship.)

We tasted three over-the-counter Scotch whiskies plus a Scotch Malt Whisky Society bottle (of which there are only 220 in existence!), discussed them, scored them, then compared our average score with Michael Jackson's (no, not THAT Michael Jackson; the other one) book of single malts. We were impressively close. Except for that time Mr. Jackson scored wrong.

My favorite of the night was a 10-year (I know! So young, right?) sherry-casked single malt from Edradour, the smallest distillery in Scotland (except for the new "illicit" one, Gavin, the Scot in the corner, said). It smelled nice, but the first sip was followed by a quick "Ooh!" that made heads turn. "Are you okay?" Tom asked. "I think so..." I said. I coined the term 'whiskeygasm,' and we moved on. I gave it a 92.

Next month is the big Dinosaur Steak party (but they love us loads, and they're getting some vegan food, too!) where we pay our dues and get our official shirts for wearing to the monthly meetings. We'll also pick the date for our trip to Scotland in 2012 -- someone's letting us stay in their huge house while we tour distilleries and taste the Water of Life. I don't know if we'll still be in China then, but chances are pretty darn good that we'll book the trip anyway.

Twenty Five Things I Plan To Do In China This Summer

2011-06-29T11:31:00.002+08:00

photo by myan at sixth & main

Consistently one of the coolest and most inspiring blogs I read, The Amber Show has done it again with her Twenty Five Things I Plan On Doing This Summer.

Number One is "Friendship bracelets," and since I seem to have had the same nostalgic urge at about the same time (I bought cotton thread in L.A. and sat under a tree in a park with my lychee boba and girl-scouted it up), it's no wonder I want to keep the nostalgia going and come up with a list of my own.

Being vegan in China makes s'mores and homemade ice cream a little more difficult (or impossible, without super-human shopping- and making- skills, which I do have sometimes, but I want this to be all fun and easy and awesome, and not stressful or a display of Look What I Can Do).

And just coming back from L.A. where I cried more than once every day for the last couple of days, I need to embrace the rest of this crazy adventure and make brand new awesome memories with people I will soon depart from and miss so so much.

So here's the list of [seemingly-obvious-at-times-but-probably-really-important-for-maintaining-and-spreading-joy]

Twenty Five Things I Plan To Do In China This Summer:

1. (More) friendship bracelets
2. Make sorbet
3. Ultimate Frisbee
4. Camping
5. Fruit juice popsicles
6. Take pictures of where I live
7. Nighttime walk to buy fresh coconuts with straws
8. Beach
9. Drawing in the park
10. Watercolors
11. Make orange marmalade
12. Movie marathon
13. Picnic
14. Visit a temple
15. Super bright manicure
16. Read outside
17. Make Perfect Iced Coffee*
18. Have breakfast on the patio
19. Play jazz
20. Buy fresh flowers
21. Knit a Christmas ornament
22. Make hot sauce
23. Visit a new city
24. Hike
25. Dinner party

*Another gem from Amber. I made this last summer in L.A. It really is perfect.

English Paper Piecing Giant Hexagons

2011-05-29T12:12:00.002+08:00

I made this video about how to sew hexagons together.

Hexagons this big come together really fast! A whole lot faster than, say, my 1" hexies. And don't even get me started on the 1/4"-ers.

(I got the hexagon tattoo in London a few weeks ago. It's so much more than a couple of hexagons, though; I assure you.)

Good for Blood

2011-05-20T14:21:00.001+08:00

It's not just a Chinese-medicine-thing that hibiscus flowers will lower your blood pressure (and cure a bunch of other ailments). Western doctors know it, too (see the Medical Studies section on the flower's Wikipedia page). And cinnamon is good for all kinds of problems from nausea and diarrhea to bad memory and tobacco cravings.

So what you've got here is some kind of Super Drink! Keep a stash of dried flowers and tree bark handy, and you've got a cheap, tasty, healthy drink just like that. Wham-o.

Hibiscus Tea for One

3 dried hibiscus flowers

2-inch cinnamon stick

boiling water

Put 'em all together and stir. Steep for about 5 minutes (or until cool enough to drink). Remove flowers and cinnamon if desired.

Vegan Taco Meat

2011-05-14T12:35:00.001+08:00

Last night was taco night because we had avocados that were ready to go, and we'd just found the all-natural taco shells we bought at an import store (called Charlie USA*).

Doesn't look vegan, does it? Totally is! (The "cheese" is shredded mozzarella-style Cheezly we brought back from London. It's not available in the US, but you lucky bums have Daiya, so you can't complain too much!)

To make your own outrageously delicious vegan taco meat, rehydrate 1 cup of Bob's Red Mill T.V.P according to the instructions on the package. Fry it up with some olive oil and about 2 tablespoons of homemade taco seasoning. And you're done.

Bon appetit!

*That's nothing. You should see the very popular brand of toothpaste here called Darlie. I'm much more okay with "Charlie," though I don't think the responsible parties are trying to be offensive with either one.

Go ahead. Make my day. (Twice.)

2011-04-15T02:23:00.002+08:00

An Internet friend (who I met in real life once, which allowed me to check off the Life List Item I created with her in mind but didn't tell her until after we met) sent me a box of presents!

She mailed it to my husband's office so it had less of a chance of getting lost or stolen, but he's in Shanghai all week. So I broke in today (with the key card I never returned from when I worked there for a month) and took it.

But first, I woke up to the comment she left on Facebook saying that I've inspired her to take up running!

So many times, when I was suffering through even a tiny 3-mile run, I thought, "I hope someone sees me and says, 'If she can do it...'" and then tries running. (Even after I ripped the hamstring off my leg and cracked my hip, she's sticking to her Couch to 5K plan! Go Kara!)

I picked up the box after my diagnostic trip to Hong Kong today (where I found out about the ripping and breaking).

I sliced it open with my pocket knife on the way to the metro. (Couldn't wait! It was heavy and made lots of noise when I shook it!)

She has her eyes on the Nuggets, too.

Did she know that I'm in love with those Florida's Natural fruit juice Nuggets (and buy a pack whenever I happen to find them in Hong Kong)? Did she know I can't find cupcake wrappers anywhere here? I don't know, but I had Nuggets before dinner, and I'm thinking it would be fun to use all 200 wrappers in one big party...*

She also sent a set of "3 Single Socks (That Don't Match)," a lollipop of hair elastics, instant Starbucks packets, Found Magazine #7, a ribbon all-about-knitting (weird! and awesome!), new boots (it was 81 degrees today; she's not wearing them for a while) and a bag for Simone, and a handmade doll dress!

Without a doubt, I have the best friends in the world, even if I have only met them once, haven't seen them in years, or haven't met them at all.

*Certain people should not be made privy, or they'll make me follow through!

Suddenly my leg doesn't hurt so much, either.

2011-04-09T12:58:00.003+08:00

I'm printing this and taking it to my doctor in Hong Kong on Monday.

[Link to the comic.]

I got an urgent call from the office this morning asking if I could come in today. I think I made them nervous when I emailed them a Pain Journal of my "hamstring" (no, sciatica... no... what the heck is WRONG with me?) injury that has, sadly, been going on since March 3rd.

By the way, I tried out those shoes on a short run the other day. They're as awesome as (or awesomer than) I hoped.

New feet!

2011-04-06T19:21:00.002+08:00

There are just a few short weeks left until we line up at the Great Limerick Run and head off on a 26.2-mile run.

My leg still hurts after a mysterious injury that just won't heal, but I'm training super hard at the gym to get as strong as I can in the meantime. If I end up limping the whole marathon, I'll do it. But dang it, I WILL do it.

Dan and I are both "barefooting" it. We've been using Vibrams FiveFingers for months and months now, but we've been considering other minimalist footwear recently. It seems, though, that very few shoe companies want to oblige. (They all want to sneak in just a little support and then slap on a silly-high price tag.)

But THEN... I stumbled (almost literally) on a couple of workers at Decathlon today putting out some new sneaker stock.

It's the Newfeel Many, and I think it's designed for men, but I don't even care. (And why should I?)

The idea is that you buy this mad-cheap shoe (RMB59, about 9USD), then pay a little extra for the insole (RMB39, I think). Maybe there were various degrees of insole; I don't know. I bought mine naked!

And I bought two pairs, as you can see. I'm thoroughly convinced these are one of the greatest things to hit the minimalist market. I've already told Dan he needs to go try them on and find his size, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to go back and buy every single color so I never have to go a day (or at least a run) without them for the rest of my life.

I originally planned on using the yellow ones on marathon day (for extra speed, ya know?), but now that I'm looking at them, one of each is pretty cool...

Look at these melons!

2011-03-29T17:24:00.001+08:00

I bought this tiny watermelon at the market today. I like fruit that has non-edible skin. It means if it was fertilized with human feces, I'm not eating people poo directly. I think that's why I got food poisoning from a salad last week. Yes, a salad.

I cut it open as soon as I got home from the gym. It's yellow inside!

It tasted pretty much the same as a red one. That is to say, delicious.

And it was only RMB4.10 (about 62 cents in U.S. currency). I'll be buying more of these little golden watermelon nuggets. Obviously.

Jack 'n' Coke Birthday Cake

2011-03-28T18:54:00.002+08:00

As totally bogus as China can be sometimes, I have no regrets at all about moving here. In fact, I'm glad we did.

I've met people here who have made my life so much more awesome. I get a full-on sad-face when I think about what could happen in 13-ish months when we all have to figure out what's next and where we're all going, which will likely be in quite different directions.

And who will I make Jack 'n' Coke birthday cakes for?

After a trial run of the recipe, then a collapsed cake tower (which I nibbled), then the official birthday cake, I'm all caked out for a while, but you should find a reason to give this bad boy a go!

(Is this wrong? Maybe a just a little bit?

I made it here, if you want to make one, too.)

Jack 'n' Coke Cake

(Recipe modified from PETA's Irish Whiskey Cake.)

1 1/4 cups unbleached all-purpose flour

1/2 tbsp baking powder

1/2 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder

1/2 tsp salt

3/8 cup vegan margarine, softened

1/2 cup sugar

1/4 cup dark brown sugar, packed

2 1/4 tsp Ener-G Egg Replacer mixed with 3 tbsp water

1/4 cup Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey

1/4 Coca-Cola

Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C). Lightly grease (and flour, if removing from the pan before serving) a 9-inch round or square baking pan.

Whisk together the flour, baking powder, cocoa, and salt. Set aside. In a large mixing bowl, cream together the vegan margarine and sugars. Add the egg mixture.  In a separate bowl, combine the Jack Daniel's and Coca-Cola. Add the flour mixture and whiskey mixture to the margarine-sugar mixture; mix well.

Pour into the prepared pan and bake for 35-45 minutes until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Let cool.

I topped mine with Jack Daniel's-spiked vegan butter cream frosting (vegan margarine, lots of powdered sugar, Jack, and water) and vegan organic sprinkles.

I panicked about having a sinky center, and ended up over-cooking the final cake (after, like I said, I totally killed the first one by stacking it three layers high and watching it crack and fall over), so be careful. Or just chill out. I really shouldda just chilled out.

Anyway...

Sláinte! 干杯! Cheers!

If I Were a Pinup

2011-03-28T11:53:00.003+08:00

"Your appearance is now what we call 'residual self image.'

It is the mental projection of your digital self."

(Make your own pinup here.)

So what do you call the digital projection of your unrealistically curvy mental self? You know, the same one who wears sheer black stockings in the kitchen everyday (right!) and never has brown roots showing under the blonde locks that are always perfectly styled to frame a freshly made-up face. (Pfft!)

At least I can party and cook. And make nerdy Matrix references.

Curves shmurves.

Ginger Red, won't you stay with me in bed!

2011-03-05T12:50:00.004+08:00

Honestly, I never saw this blog turning into a vegan recipes blog, but it seems to be headed that way, huh? I think it's because I get really, really excited when I can make something awesome out of the weird ingredients I find in China.

One of China's awesomest weird ingredients is Ginger Red Sugar. Oh my heavens. It's unusually common around here, especially considering that I'd never heard of such a thing before arriving in China. It comes in plain red sugar, too. (What the heck is red sugar? I don't really know. Something to do with Taiwan and red sugar cane, from what I can tell.)

Anyway, this morning I found a recipe for oatmeal muffins, veganized it, and replaced the brown sugar with this ginger red sugar. Now you get to make some -- if you can find ginger red sugar. If not, switch back to brown sugar. Your muffins will be missing the little ginger kick (though I suppose you could add ginger, but then you'll have brown sugar taste and ginger, and it just won't be the same!).

Ginger Red Muffins

1 1/4 cups instant oatmeal

1 1/4 cups unsweetened soy milk

1 1/2 tsp Ener-G egg replacer mixed with 2 tbsp water

1/2 cup canola oil

1/2 cup packed ginger red sugar (plus more for sprinkling)

1 1/4 cups unbleached all-purpose flour

4 tsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

3/4 cup semisweet chocolate chips 

Preheat oven to 205°C (400°F).

In a large bowl, combine oats and soy milk and allow to stand for 15 minutes. In the meantime, mix together the "egg", oil, and ginger sugar in a separate bowl. In a third bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt. Add the oil/sugar mixture to the oats/milk mixture.  Mix well. Stir in chocolate chips. Add the flour mixture to the wet mixture, stirring until just combined. (Do not over-mix.)

Fill lined or greased muffin cups 2/3 to 3/4 of the way to the top. Sprinkle the tops of the muffins with more ginger red sugar. Bake big muffins for about 20 minutes (small muffins 10-12 minutes), until inserted toothpick comes out clean.

Yields 9 big muffins and 12 little muffins (or 12 big muffins).

If you eat them as soon as they come out the oven, beware of molten chocolate.

They taste even better when you listen to this song. Don't be shy about dancing around the house with a muffin in your hand. Just try not to spill your coffee.

Home Sweet Home(made Pudding)

2011-03-04T20:54:00.002+08:00

Last weekend we made our first trip back to America since moving to China.

My heart and mind have much too much to feel and say about the joy we felt just being in the United States with people we love.

So I won't say.

I'm working on a memoir, though. I think it'll be genuinely entertaining. Because you really wouldn't believe some of the things that happen to me.

While we were home, we bought a can of artichoke hearts from Trader Joe's. They've never even heard of artichokes here.

Tonight I made vegan pizza with artichoke hearts. And for dessert, I made vegan chocolate coconut pudding. I used soy milk (made from soy milk powder and water) and left out the salt. I also used less vanilla, but I couldn't tell you how much, because I just dumped the rest of the bottle in. Vanilla's one of those ridiculously expensive things that seems like it shouldn't be that big of a deal. And I didn't have it in me to open one of bottles of pure bourbon vanilla extract I brought back from the States.

Recipes (and dinners) like this make it seem like the 417 days we have left here won't be so bad. If I can keep this up.

Breakfast Cake

2011-02-22T16:59:00.002+08:00

You can barely call these a breakfast food, but they do have oatmeal in them, so why not?

This recipe, modified (and simplified) from another one I found online, is super easy and delicious! The muffins are dense, chocolatey, and a pretty darn good way to start the day.

Chocolate Peanut Butter

Super-Chunky Muffins

1/2 cup chunky peanut butter

1 cup soy milk

1 cup unbleached all-purpose flour

2/3 cup instant oatmeal

1/3 cup cocoa powder

3/4 cup sugar

1 tbsp baking powder

1/3 cup semi-sweet (vegan) chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 200°C/400°F.

In a microwave-safe dish, heat the soy milk and peanut butter for 30 seconds at a time until the peanut butter is melted. Mix well with the soy milk and set aside. Whisk together the rest of the ingredients (except the chocolate chips). Add the peanut butter and soy milk mixtures and stir to combine. Stir in the chocolate chips.

Spoon the dough into greased or lined muffin tins, filling to just over the top of the tin. (The dough doesn't rise a whole lot like some other muffins, so you will get only 8 or 9 nice round muffins out of this.)

Bake for 15-20 minutes until toothpick inserted in center of muffin comes out clean (remembering that if you hit a chocolate chip, it's going to look raw, so try again). Remove from pan to cool.

The bread's a winner.

2011-02-08T12:32:00.002+08:00

That mango bread I mentioned about two seconds ago? It's delicious.

And you know what else? It's vegan.

And fat free (sort of, but cashews are scientifically categorized as Awesome Fat, so it's okay).

The recipe is adapted from another one I found online, but it wasn't vegan or fat free (and it didn't have cashews).

So get baking, folks! (Or ask me nicely, and I'll make you a loaf.)

Vegan Fat-Free* Coconut Cashew Mango Bread

*Close enough. 

1 cup mango puree

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 cup whole wheat flour

1/2 cup sugar

1 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 rounded cup raw cashews, chopped

1/4 cup shredded unsweetened coconut

1-1/2 tsp Ener-G Egg Replacer mixed with 2 tbsp water

2 tbsp unsweetened apple sauce

Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). 

In a large bowl, whisk together the flours, sugar, soda, cinnamon, and salt. Mix in the cashews and coconut. In a smaller bowl, combine the mango, Ener-G mixture, and apple sauce. Add mango mixture to the large bowl of dry ingredients, mixing until just combined. (Do not over-mix or you'll have tough bread! This is precisely why we've already added the cashews and coconut.)

Spread the dough in a greased loaf pan. Bake for 45-55 minutes until inserted toothpick comes out clean. Allow to rest in the pan for a couple minutes, then remove. Immediately slice off the first steamy heel for yourself.

The pretty red flecks are apple skin!

2011-02-08T11:52:00.001+08:00

Lately I'm all about the pulverized fruits and eating whole foods in general. (You'dda been so proud -- last night instead of having more blue potato Terra Chips, I had an apple!)

This smoothie was made with the leftover mango puree for my Coconut Cashew Mango Bread (recipe may follow, if it's good), 1 small Washington gala apple (chopped, not peeled), 1 banana, and 1 blood orange (peeled and seeded). Blend till smooth. Add a dash or two of cinnamon. Blend some more. Sip and enjoy.

But remember to chew! (And read this 4-paragraph crash course on juicing/blending/chewing if you need to know why.)

When this glass is empty, I'll have eaten close to 4 whole fruits, and that's a meal I can feel good about.

What does it all mean?

2011-01-31T23:51:00.000+08:00

A friend posted on Facebook a fascinating essay from the New York Times called "The Perils of Literary Profiling." I highly recommend it, especially to you bookworms.

I thought a lot about this very issue when we were sorting out piles of things to stay in storage in the U.S. and things to put in the air shipment to China. What books had I chosen, and why? What do they say about me if I don't tell you why?

Space was limited, so only the books that meant the very most to me (or I'm convinced I can finally read before we leave here) were packed.

Click the photo for the tagged Flickr page.

Not included are the books I collected along the way in our journey across the country, where I found some irresistible used books back in Los Angeles, bought local poetry in Chicago, and met a poet in Maine. Also not included are the cookbooks and knitting/crochet books that made the cut (and underwent a separate selection process).

So what am I? What, if China is the death of me, and all my secrets are somehow revealed, will people point to and say, "That explains it!"?

I think my whole bookshelf would do a better job of giving you an accurate profile, but this is pretty good, too (at least for the current period).

And what of my time here will be revealed in the books I acquire over the course of 18 months? I've already purchased a hefty business/economics book, Stephen Fry's first novel, and a Japanese book of crochet charts...

Say cheese!

2011-01-28T14:50:00.001+08:00

One of my favorite things in the whole wide world (since we moved to China, anyway) is spending untallied amounts of money and exorbitant amounts of time, energy, and creativity throwing little parties for our friends. (Remember Thanksgiving?)

Tomorrow is Vegan Pizza Day in GMT+8, and though my attempts to procure vegan cheeses and sour cream in Hong Kong totally failed (I did get pepperoni, thank goodness), this is still going to be one of the coolest VPD parties on the globe.

I had to make my own vegan cream cheese and sour cream (both recipes here) for Pepperoni Pizza Dip. I was scared to death it would taste like crap, but it's awesome. The cream cheese on its own is a bit tofu-y, but the pizza dip as a whole tastes so much like the real thing, it's a bit freaky. (I did a test run, and we ate the whole small sample in about 45 seconds. I'm tellin' ya: good stuff.)

Note: I added extra lemon juice to the cream cheese to thin it out (since I used a whole block of tofu), and I added extra rice vinegar to the sour cream. If you make it, just do what feels right. I don't think you can really mess it up.

Oh! I almost forgot! I use this recipe for the mozz on top (and for all my other pizza-cheese needs).

When the festivities are over, I'll show you all the other awesome pizza foods I made! But until then...

Happy Vegan Pizza Day!!

StickK, Week One

2011-01-21T17:00:00.003+08:00

Read this short thing about The $500 Diet.

Basically, these two guys set up a web site that takes your money if you fail. You set all the rules and give them your credit card info, but you click "I Accept" about 80 million times so you can't freak out at them if you fail and lose all your money.

One guy (one of the founders) has been putting $500 on the line every week, and he's never gone a week without losing a pound or maintaining the weight he wants. Another woman has been putting thousands of dollars on the line every week, and she hasn't smoked a cigarette in years.

So I guess I'm actually on the $100 Per Day Marathon Training Plan. For every day that I fail to train, my brother -- I chose the beneficiary; you can also choose a charity or an anti-charity (a group you don't want to support) -- gets $100. The site only lets you have weekly goals, so if ever I fail more than once, I've promised to pay him the extra Ben Franklin.

But I'm not going to fail.

I ran about 25 miles last week. Not a lot, but right on schedule.

Second Draft

2011-01-19T01:44:00.001+08:00

If you've ever written anything in your life, I highly recommend you take the Storywonk Revision workshop as soon as you can.

I attended the first online class at 5:30 on Monday morning, and I was in love with the instructor after about two and a half minutes.

I bought some revision supplies today and printed my manuscript.

Did I really need an erasable highlighter (Yeah. I know. Right?), a double-ended highlighter with both pink and green ink, and food-with-faces stickers to put on a new notebook that slides oh-so-nicely into my A4 document zipper pocket thingy? Probably not, but it seemed like a good excuse to buy some new toys.

I absolutely did need all the sticky notes. They're for labeling scenes and plastering all over my office walls.

Guys. This is going to be amazing.

And I'm really, really excited about turning those 118 pages into something incredible.

Will Run for Oatmeal

2011-01-18T12:53:00.001+08:00

I have no clue how I found this today, but once I started reading, I couldn't stop!

Ashley and Stephen at the (never home)maker blog are runners, (sorta kinda sometimes) vegans, and foodies. They have delicious recipes and really great advice on training.

I saw Ashley's recipe for Chocolate Peanut Butter Oats and knew right away she was a runner after my own heart. I made some as soon as I finished my three miles.

Making your own oatmeal packets is a super idea. I was doing it occasionally when I was working in Calabasas, but I had forgotten all about this recipe. Of course, I don't really need to pack food for myself anymore, but having a quick power-snack ready to go in about two minutes is a good thing to have in the repertoire.

The flax seeds (and lack of sugar) make for a pretty mature flavor, but a little sugar would make it more approachable in the mainstream.

But I liked mine quite a bit.

(And while you weren't looking, I cleaned out the bowl way better than that.)

Advanced Knot Tying

2011-01-18T01:31:00.000+08:00

Pretty much every time I knit a sock I amaze myself with the thought that I'm really just making one big ridiculous knot.

Unless you break the yarn after turning the heel (to make stripes match up or whatever), that's one big piece of string twisted around itself just right so it fits a foot.

Isn't that super cool?

Or is it just me?

The red one is the first sock of my first pair of Monkeys.

The pink one is the first sock of my third pair of Charades. (I like that pattern a lot. Can you tell?)

Find them on my Ravelry page to get all the details (yarn, needles, pattern repeats, etc.). Not that it will really help you to know that the red stuff is Sheepo Shengwuzhenpinterouqinfurong. I bought it in China for RMB8 (that's $1.21) per ball. And you know what? It's really spectacular stuff to work with.*

*I'm doing this to tease you. I should be allowed to. There's not much I get to say neener-neener about in China, so I'm going to do it every chance I get.

Robbery at a Chinese Yarn Store

2011-01-15T17:26:00.000+08:00

I did it.

It was me.

I robbed a yarn store.

I gave them money in exchange for yarn, but I still robbed them.

Because that much yarn should cost way more than $8.19 (RMB54).

And you know what? I'll be back for more. A lot more.

Crazy Ladies goes public!

2011-01-14T12:58:00.000+08:00

Four years ago today I started a Pandora station called Crazy Ladies. The name wasn't universally accepted right away ("They're not crazy."), but it has since become a common phrase in our house (and that's been a lot of different houses in four years!).

Click to listen!

I've discovered so many new artists with this station, and I've dumped a lot of money into Amoeba Music and Freakbeat Records because of it.

I'm going to keep working on it, making it better. But after four years, it's high time you start enjoying it too!

If these ladies aren't your thing, I'm also a big fan of Acoustic Guitar by Rob Blatt and chill out, make out, pass out by Veronica Young.

Happy listening!

Finally Vegan

2011-01-13T09:50:00.001+08:00

I've been calling myself vegan for a long time, just to keep things simple. It's a lot easier than explaining that I don't eat eggs, and I'd rather not eat any dairy, but I will if I have to.

Being vegetarian in China is so much harder than it was in Los Angeles, but it's absolutely not impossible. Eliminating cheese (the last frontier) doesn't make it any more difficult since the idea of eating Chinese cheese kind of freaked me out anyway.

So for my 26th birthday I finally did it.

Because "being vegan just makes you better than most people."*

But it's been a month, and I still don't have superpowers.

*I'm kidding. Lighten up.

I'd say that counts.

2011-01-10T21:18:00.002+08:00

Sometime after she told me to flip over so she could do the front side and before she finished my left leg and moved on to my right, I thought, "Hey! This is a Life List Item!"

The Chinese magazine I write for sent me to a 5-star hotel spa today for a review for the February issue. Every square centimeter (we're in metric-unit-land, after all) of my body was rubbed with scented oils and burning-hot rocks, sometimes so hard and hot (woops!) it hurt. But it hurt so good.

Truth be told, last weekend I had my first Chinese foot massage, but I hesitated to call that fulfillment of Life List Item 058: Get a massage. It wasn't the most comfortable experience (but totally worth it in the end), and I'd always pictured the Life List Item involving my back and a massage table and looking through a hole at the floor.

But 90 minutes of full-body hot rock massage with a little steam therapy before and a hot shower after, plus several requests that I drink more ginger tea (and I did look through a hole at a bowl of water and rose petals on the floor), totally counts, I think.

And I want more. I want it so bad.

(Thank goodness for Life List Item 083: Do ten of these things more than once.)

Hand Socks!

2011-01-08T15:35:00.006+08:00

My brother and his wife gave me this lovely sock yarn for my birthday (either 10 months late or 2 months early, depending on how you look at it). It's been waiting patiently for me to turn it into something, but I hadn't found the right pattern for it.

Add to that cold winter walks from the subway to the office and the need for something more than the fingerless mitts I knit while driving across the U.S. from Portland, Ore. to Brewer, Me. in October. But there weren't any free patterns online that were striking my fancy.

I slipped a hand-knit sock over my right hand and realized the standard number of stitches I use for all my socks was also perfect for my hand. And so was born the hand-sock.

This pattern is totally super for using sock yarn you want to show off in a more visible place than your feet, and there aren't any increases to stretch out the stripes (which is more important if you're using a more uniformly-striped yarn). You get a nice tube that lets the yarn flow the way the sock-gods intended. It's highly customizable, so you can add or take away stitches and rows to make it fit just right.

I'd love to see what yarn you save from being trampled on and hidden, so send me your pictures! (And of course I'll keep an eye on the Ravelry page.)

Hand Socks (They're mittens!)

Yarn: Sock yarn (about 100 grams total)

Needles: US1 (2.25 mm)

Gauge: Not super important; this pattern assumes you've either knit yourself socks before and kind of know how many stitches you should use, or you have pretty average adult female hands.

Twisted rib: [k2tbl, p2] over a multiple of 4 stitches

CO 60 sts.

Cuff: Work 18-20 rounds of twisted rib.

Hand: Knit around till stitches reach space where the thumb meets the hand. (A couple of extra rows are better than too few. You want all the ribbing to be on the wrist and not up on the hand.)

Thumb round: k5; break yarn, leaving a tail a few inches long (comfortable for weaving in later); k9 (or more as necessary; this will be about half the thumb stitches) with scrap yarn; finish knitting around with mitten yarn.

The red yarn is the scrap yarn holding the stitches for the thumb.

The tails are inside the mitten for now.

Fingers: Continue knitting around till mitten is just shy of tallest finger. Begin decreases:

Round 1: [k3, k2tog] around (48 sts)

Round 2-3: knit

Round 4: [k2, k2tog] around

Round 5-6: knit

Round 7: [k1, k2tog] around

Round 8-9: knit

Round 10: k2tog around

Round 11: knit

Break yarn and thread through stitches. Finish off.

If you've never done this before, I assure you: there's nothing to be afraid of.

People do crazier things, like cutting the stitches, and even that isn't so bad.

Thumb: Remove scrap yarn, picking up the live stitches. There will be one less stitch on the top than the bottom. Pick up 2 stitches on the left side; knit across top. Pick up 1 stitch on the right side; knit across bottom. Total 20 stitches. Knit until stitches reach top of thumb, then begin decreases:

Round 1: [k2, k2tog] around (15 sts)

Round 2: knit

Round 3: [k1, k2tog] around (10 sts)

Round 4: knit

Round 5: k2tog around (5 sts)

Round 6: knit

Break yarn and thread through stitches. Finish off and weave in all ends.

Now do all of that one more time for the second mitten. They're designed so you don't have to worry about left hands and right hands, because really, who needs that?

Mochi Mine

2011-01-06T23:04:00.001+08:00

Yessiree, I made mochi.

The actual mochi part is a total cinch. It's the stuffing-it-or-otherwise-making-it-interesting part that's a little more difficult.

I ended up quitting and rolling them in coconut (and then a little more rice flour to help them keep their shape). See the plain-looking ones in the upper right? Those ones are stuffed with a little glob of peanut butter and three chocolate chips.

I used a recipe I found online, but I fudged it up. But the way I did it is awesome, so I'm calling it mine and sharing it with you.

Microwave Mochi

1 cup glutinous rice flour (plus extra for rolling)

1/2 cup sugar

1 cup water

Whisk together the rice flour and sugar in a microwave-safe bowl. Add the water and whisk until smooth. (It's going to be very thin, but fear not!) Cover the bowl with plastic wrap. Microwave on high for 4 minutes.

It'll be hot, so let it cool a bit before handling (and watch out when you take the plastic wrap off). If filling, scoop some out, roll it in the extra rice flour, and pat it flat. Put your filling in and pinch closed. Roll with more rice flour as necessary and shake off the excess. If not filling, scoop some out and roll in whatever you're gonna roll it in.

Now I'm going to go eat those peanut butter & chocolate ones...

But they all seem to be getting along just fine.

2011-01-05T16:52:00.001+08:00

Everybody knows Optimus Prime is Jewish, but did you know that polar bears are Baptist and Homer Simpson is Catholic?

I don't know about other kinds of bears, but I'm definitely interested in learning more about the religious history of those polar bears.

And what about penguins? Or Barbie?

Perfect Living Rooms

2011-01-05T02:05:00.001+08:00

I kind of hate my living room.

It's not all the living room's fault. It's not really my fault either. The room has potential with its wraparound window seat overlooking the city and the sea from eighteen floors up.

Photo by Anna Oler.

But I have nothing to work with. No cushions, no cozy afghans, no rugs. Oh, there are cushions, but they're not the right cushions. And the rug is crammed under the entertainment shelf because it has giant seashells on it. It's perfectly hideous. I think I have one finished afghan on the way here, and another one isn't done yet. And it has a long way to go.

Photo by Attic24.

How do some people get that perfectly cozy look and feel? And then why do they tease me with photos on Flickr? (Sure, I seek them out on purpose, but still.) What's the secret?

Photo by denis/e.

My favorite living room of all time is Patricia & Ed Ranzoni's. (Pat's a lovely poet I visited in Maine.) I wish I could show you, then you'd know exactly what I mean. I even told her how much I loved it. It was like being in a cross between an L.L. Bean catalog and an Anthropologie window display. Some hipster interior designer from the Pacific northwest could recreate it for the right price, but only a lot of time and their earthy sense of style could have made it so perfect so naturally. It's the same sense of style that makes a person offer her guests homemade hand-picked blueberry pie and mint tea from the garden.

Photo by JKönig.

So for now, while I wait for my afghans (because the perfect living rooms always have at least one afghan), I'll start with figuring out how to make the lighting less harsh and the failed attempt at modern glass decor a little warmer and more inviting. At least there's plenty of Chinese tea to go around.

My New Favorite Holiday

2011-01-04T14:20:00.004+08:00

Why did I not know that January 29 is Vegan Pizza Day?

Guess what I'm going to eat lots and lots and lots of? In fact, I'm probably going to make a full-blown big deal out of it and invite people over and pretend it's an actual real American holiday my family has been celebrating for generations.

Oh, and by the way, Dan made bagel pizzas out of those bagels I made yesterday. They were very delicious. (The photo is less than, but I don't care.)

But back to Vegan Pizza Day. Whether you're vegan or not, you should celebrate by making or buying a vegan pizza (or two or three). Just to be awesome and say you did.

Here's my vegan, yeast-free, fat-free (unless you'd rather not) pizza crust recipe if you want to make your own. I use this recipe almost exclusively. Perfect every time.

Whether Jew, Gentile, or some other third thing, I hope you have a very merry Vegan Pizza Day.

Yeast-free Applesauce
Pizza Crust

2 cup flour
1 tsp salt
2 tsp baking powder
2/3 cup water
1/4 cup apple sauce (or vegetable oil)

Mix all ingredients. Knead on floured surface until spreadable. Apply toppings, bake at 425°F for about 20 minutes.

New York? Montreal? Nevah hoyd of 'em.

2011-01-03T17:28:00.000+08:00

The world's best bagels are not where you'd expect.

They're in Shenzhen, and I made them.

Life List Item 070: Make bagels.

They're so delicious I can barely keep my hands off them. Fortunately, the recipe is super simple, so I can have freshly baked bagels just about whenever I want.

I'm not kidding. These are honestly and truly the best bagels I've ever had in my whole entire life. (And you know how I feel about the sunflower ones at Bagel Central in Bangor, Maine. Yes, they beat those, too.)

Tony's in China

2011-01-01T11:36:00.003+08:00

As far as I know, Tony Yanow has no plans of international franchise for his Burbank haven of vegans and hop-heads, but if he did, I'd help. The world would, after all, be a better place.

Fewer absentee fans would have to miss the epic NYE party that's happening right now in the dark and crowded pub. Fewer still are so loyal and smitten as to make it happen in China anyway.

The party was small (two humans and a cat), but we managed to pull off a vegan Tony's Darts Away menu across the International Date Line, planning weeks in advance and smuggling the necessary goods across the border from Hong Kong.

I improvised some USR (Ultra Super Rad) hot sauce with Vegenaise, Chinese chili relish stuff, ground red pepper, Frank's Xtra Hot, and Tofutti Better Than Cream Cheese. It tasted impressively like the real thing (or as much as my deprived taste buds could remember, anyway.) (Sorry, no recipe. Just mix 'em all up till they're tasty. Hint: Just a dollop of cream cheese for thickening; the other liquids thin out the Vegenaise too much.) While I was doing this, Dan was slicing the potatoes, and then I fried them into chips in a wok while he sliced more potatoes.

I fried the vegan sausages we found in Hong Kong with some onions and green peppers. We put the sausages in freshly baked buns and added our toppings (two bigs and two smalls)!

Served up with the only California IPA we've found outside of a pub (and also from Hong Kong), it was the next best thing to being there.

Smalls: Vegenaise and dijon mustard (Dan used USR hot sauce instead of Vegenaise).

Bigs: Grilled peppers & onions and shredded Follow Your Heart cheddar.

And as if the prospect of having an almost-real Tony's menu in our very own 18th-floor Chinese apartment weren't amazing enough, we're going to the real place in February!

Cheers, Tony & friends! We send our love from the Pearl River Delta.

The Hauntingly Beautiful

2010-12-31T13:34:00.001+08:00

After finding another one for my list, I decided to share with you some things that I find so hauntingly lovely that they keep popping up in my brain unannounced.

The first is a set of color photographs from Russia before color photographs were really even a thing. You can see the whole collection (with glass negatives, sepia-tone prints, and modern composites and renderings) at the Library of Congress. This is one of my favorites. I can't help but return the stare of her dark eyes.

The second are these photos of Niagara Falls with no water. For a long time I've loved rocks more than trees (which is part of why I like the dry southwest of the US more than the lush northeast), and these rocks, usually hidden by water, are like the gritty and honest bones of the Earth.

And the third thing, which a friend just shared on Facebook, are these photos of cement people at the bottom of the ocean. The bodies eventually grow oceany things and support the marine life around them, so not only is this guy an artist, but he's making the world an undeniably better place. I wonder how much bee-ess this guy had to deal with in order to get permission to do this? Whatever. I'm glad he did.

(I'm a big fan of this pregnant woman in particular because she makes me just a tad uncomfortable, and the peace in her face is absolutely gorgeous.)

I could pick at least three things like these in any number of different categories (this one being "Art/Photography Especially as They Relate to the World Around Us," I guess), and I probably will, but soak these up for now. I'll be back with more later.

Blythe Socks!

2010-12-24T23:16:00.002+08:00

I looked everywhere for a knit sock pattern for my new Bythe doll, Simone. It had to be on US1 needles (like a real human sock) and had to have real sock anatomy (like a real human sock), but there was none to be found.

So I did it myself. Want the pattern?

You bet!

(Simone's are kind of crazy-looking because I used striping sock yarn

that's way too random for teeny socks.)

Blythe Socks

Needles: US1 (you decide if you're gonna use DPNs or the magic loop on a circular)
Yarn: a teeny bit of sock yarn
Gauge: not a big deal

Cast on 10 sts.

cuff: (k1, p1) for 3 rounds

leg: knit 5 rounds

heel (includes turning):
1. knit 5
2. turn, p5
3. turn, k5
4. turn, p3
5. turn, k1, ssk
6. turn, p2, p2tog
7. turn, k3
8. pick up 3 sts, knit across foot (5 sts), pick up 3 sts
9. knit the 3 sts of bottom of foot
10. k1, k2tog, k5, ssk, k1
11. k12
12. k3, k2tog, k5, ssk

foot & toe:
1. k 3 rounds
2. k2tog around (5 sts remain)
3. k5
4. break yarn and thread thru stitches

Finish off and weave in ends.

The First Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T14:05:00.002+08:00

Come, ye thankful people, come,
raise the song of harvest home.

- Henry Alford, 1844

I just took an apple pie out of the toaster oven that, even if it dies on me now, will have had a good run and made me sufficiently happy (except I still have to cook the Adventist-style vegan loaf for dinner tonight).

A few minutes ago, while I was washing the last load of dishes and putting them into the sanitizer-thingy (to kill the killer bugs in the Chinese tap water), it occurred to me that we, like the first pilgrims to America, have much to be thankful for.

The first Thanksgiving was all about the corn harvest. When that worked -- when they realized that their whole crazy plan was going to work -- they feasted in celebration.

Maybe our Thanksgiving is for the bread, cookies, chili, guacamole, and all of the other tastes of home that have come together since we arrived -- despite the unexpected odds.

Today's feast, with ingredients collected from all over Shenzhen and Hong Kong and recipes passed to me from both my mother and my grandmother (and the Internet), means that we can make this plan work.

Today's feast, and the many hours I spent last night and this morning and afternoon putting it together with my one pot, my one pan, and my one small oven, are a sacrificial gift of Thanksgiving to the three other American pilgrims who will share it with me. We are far from home, we miss the ones we left behind, and it's going to be difficult, but it is going to work!

And I can't think of a better way to spend this American holiday, this Thanksgiving Day, than really meaning it.

The Simple Things

2010-11-19T17:16:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, Dan and I were walking near Window of the World (you can look it up if you want; but that's actually irrelevant to the story) looking for dinner. Two girls darted over to us while they were walking in the other direction and one said, "Blah blah blah ma?" The "ma" means it's a question, which also means I don't have the answer. I just looked at her and said, "I don't know."

She tried again, and her friend tried to help, but we were of no use. She shrugged and hugged me. Then she hugged Dan. And the other girl hugged whichever one of us wasn't being hugged by the first girl. And then they walked away.

That was probably the weirdest thing that's happened to us so far. We were both speechless.

Today, the bell rang on the security panel (which I don't know how to use, but I have managed to accidentally set the alarm on it and made buzzers go off everywhere, but luckily our Chinese teacher was here and was able to get someone to come up and make it stop). I pushed the button to let the person talk, and of course it was all in Chinese. I hung up on him.

Then I remembered the package my mother sent, and checked the tracking number. They'd already tried to deliver it twice, so maybe this was the China Post trying again! I decided to go down the 18 floors to check, but there was a clicking at my door (which is the broken door bell). I opened it, and there was a young man with a big box.

After a whole lot of confusion, and him writing in Chinese to help me understand what he was saying in Chinese (sorry, not helpful), and me saying "I don't know" over and over again, I got the box. Then he kept asking about the "W S." He even wrote down "W S" in his Gambol notebook (the brand of choice around here, it seems) and pointed into my apartment. He may have even gestured toward his man-parts like he had to pee or something, but no way, thanks, you can leave now.

I got him out of there, took the box to my desk (where I now type), made sure the cat hadn't eaten my new turtle (rescued yesterday from the dismal pet section of Wal-Mart), and opened the box.

After a layer of crumpled L.L.Bean catalog pages, I found the measuring spoons and measuring cups. And I can't tell you the unimaginable relief that washed over me. My life suddenly became so much simpler! I could look forward to the joy of baking again! (There was also a "cat teaser wand," which is super amazingly awesome, but I haven't told Keillor about it yet.)

Next, I reached in for a brown box (the rest was mail, and not nearly as important as everything else), which I didn't recognize but assumed was the "cookies" listed in my mom's handwriting on the customs form.

When I pulled out the Candy Cane Joe-Joe's (a gift from my brother and his wife) my jaw literally dropped, and I was so overwhelmed with the craziness of everything that had just happened and the unbelievable thoughtfulness contained within the one stupid box of Trader Joe's holiday cookies that I lost it. I mean completely lost it like I've never lost it in my whole life. There was enough sobbing to make the cat concerned. I think the turtle even tucked his head in tighter.

So there you have it: one glimpse into my Chinese life, where measuring cups and spoons (made in but not distributed in China), a cat toy, and a box of cookies just in time for Thanksgiving are the greatest gifts I've ever received.

And I haven't forgotten about the wax paper! There were two rolls of Reynolds Cut-Rite Wax Paper (which is at least a whole roll more than I've gone through in the entirety of my previous life as an American baker)!

On top of all that, I'm running again, our friend got his shipment of stuff today (and even though ours is probably months from getting here, I can rejoice for him after his many months of waiting), and it's the Friday before we spend a weekend in Hong Kong (and I've already scoped out a couple Whole-Foods-style markets for stocking my cupboards with smuggled goods).

Life in China is not at all what anyone could have told me to expect. Sometimes it's downright awful. But we're doing the very best with it that we can, and the American love we feel from afar is making it so much easier.

(My apologies for the long post without even a single picture to break up the prose. I'll do better next time. I needed the catharsis right now, though.)

L'absente

2010-11-01T11:32:00.004+08:00

We're in China. China is nuts.

I've missed writing here, but there's so much to say at once that I'm often left speechless. Instead, I've been writing more poetry. It's quicker, more portable.

Yesterday, since I'm unemployed and don't speak the local language enough to do a whole lot (though I've been remarkably adventurous considering), I signed up for NaNoWriMo. I'm 453 words into the 50,000-word project as of this moment. I plan on succeeding.

Today I was writing to Vivaldi and then a Bach tune popped up and distracted me. I went on a YouTube journey (which I do a lot these days) and rediscovered Debussey's "Claire de Lune."

This recording is beautiful.

(You should also listen to "L'absente" by Yann Tiersen.)

Music has become very important to me in the last several weeks. Retreating into Rachmaninoff has often been my solace in the craziness. Verbal communication isn't easy when I'm the only English speaker, and everyone else is speaking Mandarin, so often both languages are quite grating by the end of the day.

But violins and pianos will always suffice.

Blondie!

2010-10-12T07:12:00.000+08:00

I'm so far behind on posting about my Life List accomplishments it's despicable. But at least I'm accomplishing faster than the rest of my life allows for blogging!

On September 20, Martha (my favorite hair lady in the whole wide world; I'll give you her number if you life in the SFV) bleached me out. She spent two hours just putting the foil in my hair. I was going to go back for more lightening (I have too much hair to do it all in one sitting), but Martha and I (and several others) agreed this is just right.

I feel like I should have been blonde all along!

(Also, I got a second tattoo yesterday. Should have put that on the list!)

Twenty New Poems

2010-09-17T13:48:00.000+08:00

I thought this Life List Item (016) was going to take a lot longer, but once I got in a groove, the lines came in droves!

Twentynewpoems.blogspot.com is finally complete!

But the poetry isn't. It's what I do now, and I love it.

(I also have some multimedia projects in mind for some of them.)

Armenian Coffee

2010-09-14T11:40:00.000+08:00

I've been craving Middle Eastern coffee for weeks and weeks, but there's rarely a good time to go to the one place I know I can get it (and give a girl a coffee and she'll ask for a falafel... you know how that goes). Then an Armenian pops into my life and makes me jealous that he can have it whenever he wants. And still more weeks passed.

After an incredible (read: not restful) weekend and a long day at work, I was determined to go to my favorite pita place and order their Turkish coffee. Then I started craving stuffed grape leaves, so I just forgot all my plans of cleaning the apartment to a state of spotlessness and went grocery shopping.

I painted while the dolma was simmering (recipe here). I had wrongly assumed for years that these would be way too complicated, but they're quite easy!

I took a break before making coffee (video instructions here) to switch from watercolor doodles to a real landscape!

I bought a size 6 (.7-liter) Eqyptian coffee pot at a shop in an international market for about $9. The small bag of coffee was $2. I may be hooked.

And that's Life List Item 081!

018. Go horseback riding.

2010-09-10T12:58:00.000+08:00

Life List Item 018 accomplished!

I left work today for a four o'clock appointment at Paramount Ranch in Agoura Hills to meet Dan, the Paddocks, and the Carrolls. The Carrolls have horses, but the rest of were brand new.

It was so much fun! My horse, Thea, was a bit of a troublemaker, but that seemed to work out okay. I was patient and brave. Thea was tolerant of my status as The Girl Who Has No Idea What She's Doing.

I do think I pull off the urban cowgirl look pretty well, though.

It's true.

2010-09-09T22:55:00.000+08:00

We're moving to China in October.

View Larger Map

This may be the craziest thing we've ever done.

Poema Español

2010-08-31T23:14:00.000+08:00

I was just reminded of this poem I wrote in high school, inspired entirely by the phrase "alguna noche." I still like it after all these years (and that's a lot of years), despite my anxiety about the longevity of poetic inspiration. Somewhere I still have the original copy my Spanish teacher typed in blue ink, dated, and gave to me.

It's unintentionally communistic, but that's not bad. (Maybe I'll give it music, play the organ over the loudspeaker, and make everyone on my hippy farm sing along at sunrise.) The purest communism, I think, is our end status anyway.

Alguna noche
Yo me iré
A una tierra
Donde no hay rey,
Y cada persona
Adora a la otra.
Son todas amables
Y viven en paz.

New Cube

2010-08-29T01:20:00.000+08:00

I was moved to Editor's Row at work yesterday. It's nice over here. I feel more at home in my cozy little secluded cube. I should get a plant.

(Click photo to go to flickr page -- with notes!)

Tattooed!

2010-08-27T23:27:00.001+08:00

I got my first-ever tattoo on Tuesday night. I've wanted one for a long time, and finally realized last Saturday what it should be.

I chose an almond leaf etching from an 1800s encyclopedia and took it to Black Diamond Tattoo in Venice, California. Sean Adams was amazing. I knew from his first sketch that it would be perfect. And he took incredible care to make sure all of his products were vegan friendly.

The almond leaf comes from Jeremiah 1:4-12. There's more about the play on words here.

Here's the tattoo in all its fresh slimy done-ness:

My hand now holds so many memories and reminders just under the skin. Like what we had for dinner before I got it, decisions we were making, the friends who were there when the almond tree became significant to me, making new friends at school and work, the end of business school, the blond fellow with a tattoo in his ear who held my hand for an hour but changed it forever, and how lucky I am to have a boy who puts up with my craziness. And none of these were intentional.

Yes, I kind of already want another one.

Being Alone

2010-08-20T10:50:00.000+08:00

...but lonely is a freedom that breathes easy and weightless and lonely is healing if you make it.

This poem found me sometime last week, just after I began a time of aloneness. It wiggled deep down into my heart, and it never left.

It's one of the most beautiful things I've ever read, heard, or seen. I hope it moves you like it moved me.

I tried some of these things. And I've never been happier alone.

Cuz if you're happy in your head then solitude is blessed and alone is okay.

How to be Conceited

2010-08-15T07:40:00.000+08:00

My brother made this fabulous video about how to turn your face (or his sexy mug) into a stencil! Leave him some nice comments on YouTube, would ya?

Granny Picnic Blanket

2010-08-01T23:58:00.000+08:00

The giant granny square is done!

(If you click to enbiggen, this makes a pretty fabulous desktop background.
You can use it if you want.)

It all started with this afghan (on Ravelry here) made by a lady in Brussels. I needed it. I needed it bad.

Many months later, I found a yard sale in a nearby neighborhood of Los Angeles. An old lady was clearing out all of her vintage, Los-Angeles-made yarn on account of her debilitating arthritis. I scored a lot of yarn for super cheap (but I didn't even put a dent in her stash).

When I got home and organized it all over the living room floor, I realized I could finally create the afghan I'd been dreaming of!

It's meant to be our picnic blanket, but we've yet to go picnicking. It hasn't even seen any napping action, which is also a shame. At least it looks good draped over things.

For fellow crafty folk, here are the stats:
Pattern: a basic granny square (edging pattern here)
Hook: H (5.0 mm)
Yarn: 7 different colors of vintage acrylic
Ravelry link.

Cranberry Walnut Orange Bread

2010-08-01T04:20:00.000+08:00

I owe you this recipe. It's from way back when I picked a thousand oranges but only needed seven. The recipe came from a very special person I knew in Maine. Sadly, I only communicate with her through Facebook now. But happily, we're at least still communicating! (It's a love/hate relationship I have with with FB. Would love to leave it, but then I'd be leaving behind some good people I'd hate to lose.)

So anyway, this friend came to my rescue and offered her grandmother's recipe for orange bread. It only uses one orange, but it uses the whole orange! I made a few changes (cranberries instead of raisins, vegan egg alternative, that kind of thing), but it's incredibly delicious! I hope you'll try it!

Cranberry Walnut Orange Bread
(makes one vegan loaf)

1 juicy orange
water
dried cranberries
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1 cup sugar
2 tbsp Earth Balance
1-1/2 tsp Ener-G Egg Replacer + 2 tbsp water (equivalent of 1 egg)
2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup chopped walnuts

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Squeeze juice from the orange and add enough water to equal 1 cup. Grind the rind (I used my Magic Bullet) and add enough cranberries to equal 1 cup, then add to juice mixture. Add all remaining ingredients (except nuts); mix well. Fold in chopped nuts. Pour into greased loaf pan. Bake about 60 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.

The Perfect Ending to a Giant Granny

2010-07-25T08:54:00.000+08:00

(No grannies were harmed in the making of this blanket/pattern/post. I promise.)

I finally wove in all the yarn ends on my first grown-up sized giant granny square blanket. I knew I wanted to end the blanket in the dark purple I started with, but I didn't know how that edge should look. My biggest concern was keeping the last row before the edging still plump and granny-like (single-crocheting in all the stitches chops off the head of the shell, making it short and ugly). So I did some experimenting and came up with a pattern I think is just perfect for a giant granny square.

I can't show you the whole blanket yet, but I can show you just enough to share this pattern with you!

This pattern assumes you know enough to have already made the giant granny on your own. It also assumes you made the little shell things with three double-crochets (or what have you) and put 1 single crochet between each shell (two in the corners). I'm sure you can adjust this pattern to just about granny-square-making method you choose.

Edging for a Giant Granny

Row 1: Keep doing what you were doing (making a granny square), but make 3sc in each ch-1 space. When you get to a corner, do [3sc, ch2, 3sc] then continue on. Finish off the round as you normally would, but don't cut the yarn!

Row 2 (last one, then you're finally done with this thing!): No matter what you were doing for the rest of the granny, do NOT turn. Keep going! Sc in the middle sc of the very next 3-sc shell. In the next ch-1 space, do [hdc, 3dc, hdc]. Then sc in the middle sc of the next shell. When you get to a corner, treat the ch-2 space like a ch-1 space and make just one bumpy thing like you've been making all along. Continue around, attach yarn to the start, and break. Weave in, and you're done!

I'll be done very soon, and then I can show you this marvelous thing in all it's finally-done-ness! (It really is marvelous, I assure you.)

I hate cell phone stuff.

2010-07-21T07:57:00.000+08:00

I'm really not angry or bitter, but some conversations are so retarded that they really must be shared. It was hard to tell if the "person" was even real. It was like watching an episode of The Hills or something.

Please wait while we find an agent to assist you...

You have been connected to ^Toylandra I.

^Toylandra I: Hi Kimberly , welcome to T-Mobile live Chat. I’m ^Toylandra and I will be happy to assist you. Please give me a moment to review your question.

^Toylandra I: Kimberly, I do regret you are having issues with your battery. I am here for you and I will try my best to resolve this for you.

^Toylandra I: What is occurring with the battery?

Kimberly Pye: The battery is bulging. This is dangerous

Kimberly Pye: I visited a T-Mobile store today. They didn't have any in stock. And the Representative called several other stores in the area. No store had a battery in stock for my G1

^Toylandra I: Thank you.

^Toylandra I: What exactly is the battery doing, is it not charging, or it is swollen?

Kimberly Pye: It is swollen.

^Toylandra I: Thank you.

^Toylandra I: How long has this been occurring?

Kimberly Pye: I discovered it yesterday.

^Toylandra I: Thanks.

^Toylandra I: Are there any missing contents on the battery, is it able to stay in the phone?

Kimberly Pye: Yes, it is able to stay in the phone. I just need a battery that isn't swollen.

^Toylandra I: Okay.

^Toylandra I: Kimberly, I am going to check the warranty on the battery, because the warranty only last 90 days for the battery.

Kimberly Pye: Okay. So dangerously swollen batteries are okay with T-Mobile?

^Toylandra I: I certainly want you to have a battery that is not swollen, but the phone is no longer under warranty to replace the battery, you can go online to T-Mobile.com, and replace the battery.

Kimberly Pye: That is very unfortunate. I will order it from somewhere less expensive.

^Toylandra I: Okay.

Kimberly Pye: I am quite disappointed in this resolution.

^Toylandra I: Kimberly, I certainly want you to have a battery for your phone, but being that the phone is no longer under warranty, we can not replace the battery.

^Toylandra I: Kimberly, are you still with me?

Kimberly Pye: Yes.

^Toylandra I: Is there anything else we can assist you with today?

Kimberly Pye: The battery is malfunctioning to a degree beyond my expectation when I purchased the phone. I would expect the battery to last the life of the contract, as all previous batteries have.

^Toylandra I: I definitely understand that, however, if there is no warranty to cover the phone, we can not exchange the batter, you can purchase another battery through T-Mobile.com.

Kimberly Pye: I am sorry to hear that.

^Toylandra I: Do you have any other questions or concerns for me?

Kimberly Pye: No.

^Toylandra I: Thank you for contacting T-Mobile Chat, have a great day!

Kimberly Pye: Thank you.

^Toylandra I: Goodbye!

^Toylandra I: You are welcome.

Kimberly Pye: I hope my phone doesn't explode.

Kimberly Pye: Goodbye.

^Toylandra I: You can close the chat window if you like.

^Toylandra I: Kimberly, are you still with me?

^Toylandra I: Thank you for contacting T-Mobile Chat, have a great day!

^Toylandra I: Goodbye!

I'm not sure, but Toylandra I might be a stripper. Or ruler of Toyland. I'm also assuming there's a Toylandra Jr. and Toylandra III out there somewhere.

Now I have to order a new battery on eBay for a fraction of the cost T-Mobile wants to charge me. I really do hope my battery doesn't explode in the meantime.

Zucchini Nut Loaf a la 1979

2010-07-12T11:39:00.000+08:00

I've had this old copy of Better Homes and Gardens All-Time Favorite Bread Recipes since I was a teenager living at home. I tried making bagels when I first found it (no idea where I got it), but it was a total flop. (I promise to try again, though, now that I'm a lot smarter at this kind of thing.) I've made the potato bread recipe, too, but that was a raging success.

I've kept it around because 1. the photography is so darn charming, 2. as is the whole book, and 3. I like bread. Plus vintage recipes are usually really, really good.

The Zucchini Nut Loaf is no exception. I could eat a whole one by myself in one sitting with a single cup of tea. I veganized it, of course, and used unbleached all-purpose flour, but I'm sure I only made it better.

Zucchini Nut Loaf
(It's vegan.)

1 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp ground nutmeg
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup sugar
1 cup finely shredded unpeeled zucchini (not a big deal if you have a little more or less; just shred the whole thing and use all of it)
1 1/2 tsp Ener-G Egg Replacer mixed well with 2 tbsp water
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/4 tsp lemon zest
1/2 cup chopped walnuts

In mixing bowl, stir together flour, cinnamon, baking soda, nutmeg, baking powder, and salt; set aside. In another mixing bowl, beat together sugar, zucchini, and egg replacer. Add oil and lemon zest; mix well. Stir flour mixture into zucchini mixture. Gently fold in chopped nuts. Turn batter into a greased bread loaf pan. Bake in 350-degree oven for 55-60 minutes or until toothpick inserted near center comes out clean. Cool in pan 10 minutes. Remove from pan and cool on rack. (The original recipe says to cool thoroughly, then wrap and store loaf overnight before slicing. That's completely bogus. Only wait as long as you can stand it, and I don't advise waiting long.) We found it especially delicious smeared with honey peanut butter.

It's super incredibly delicious. The lemon zest is an extra special touch that makes it taste like it came from a high-end bakery. But your kitchen IS a high-end bakery now, so it works.

(Before publishing this, I checked, and YES! You CAN get this book on Amazon! This is your lucky day, I think!)

Orange you glad?

2010-07-05T00:18:00.001+08:00

Dan and I picked a lot of oranges last weekend so I could make marmalade. Yesterday, when I found out I only needed 7 oranges for 5 jars of marmalade, I made more marmalade.

This recipe for Absolutely Fail-Proof Easy Marmalade is exactly that. I was looking forward to having perfect-looking marmalade with little strings of rind in it, but this is way, way easier and a good place for beginners to start. And it's freaking delicious.

I didn't have enough small jars for another whole batch of marmalade, so I filled one with orange syrup. I used this recipe. I don't have a picture, so imagine one of the jars above, but without the "Orange Marmalade" label.

Still dealing with a sink full of oranges (turns out we picked 64), we walked to Target to get more jars. I got the big ones this time. I filled two of those with Sweet Pickled Oranges. I have no idea how they'll taste, but I have good feelings about them. (I made these Pickled Grapes with Cinnamon and Black Pepper last year, and they were delicious.)

I'm going to make more large jars of marmalade for using in other recipes that call for it. (I'll save the cute little jars for toast and gifts.) I'm really looking forward to making my own duck sauce. I'm thinking tofu, rice, and veggies... Mmm!

I feel like there's so much I need to share, but instead of blogging about stuff, I've been doing stuff. And my to-do list isn't shrinking that much, while my to-blog list is getting longer and longer! Next up is an awesome vintage zucchini bread (veganized!) I'm temped to make more of right now. (But I really should stick to orange bread, I think.)

At least we're not getting scurvy!

Cashew Cheese is Better!

2010-06-26T11:46:00.000+08:00

We've had two completely insane cashew cheesey meals lately, and it would be just plain rude of me not to tell you how much more tasty and healthy (and actually very easy!) this alternatives are to the "real" thing.

First, baked macaroni and cheese with bread crumbs on top. The recipe is from Ocean Beach People's Organic Co-Op in San Diego, California. We tried their Vegan Mac 'n' Cheeze at their little restaurant, fell in love, and then kinda freaked out when we saw that they have a cookbook (which includes this recipe and several others we tried).

Even as leftovers micro'd at work, it's freaking delicious (if not entirely photogenic).

I can't find their cookbook online anywhere, but maybe you could call them and ask nicely to list it somewhere or mail you one. It's worth every effort you can afford. I promise. Plus, it's only 10 bucks.

Then Dan had the bright idea of using vegan cashew Melty Cheese as a fondue. (I love that boy.) This time, you can have the recipe! Notice that the only fat is whatever's in 1/4 cup of cashews. And whoa man. It was so, so, so, SO good with French baguette, steamed broccoli, raw carrots and celery, and fried green beans (a little experiment I tried; I'm still perfecting it).

We ate the whole pot of cheese and felt nary an ounce of guilt. We didn't pay for it physically either, as we most certainly would have after eating a tub full of fatty hardened cow milk. And it was way easier -- and cheaper! -- to make than the original Swiss blend of pricey cheeses and other ingredients you don't already have in your house. I'd take the vegan one over the other one any day.

Eat up, my friends!

Condoms for Kiddies

2010-06-25T09:29:00.000+08:00

Today I learned, while reading the subtitles on the TV at the gym, that a school in Massachusetts is now offering condoms to 1st graders. They have to see a counselor first, but no one is going to tell Mommy and Daddy (or Mommy and Mommy or Daddy and Daddy*).

There are so many reasons why this is a bad idea.

1. Can they even get pregnant? It's probably their first time anyway! Why bother with a condom when there aren't STDs or babies (ha!) to worry about?

2. As if the locker room weren't humiliating enough! Now the little buddies have to worry about rubber size? (Also, who's gonna start manufacturing itty bitty love gloves? I mean, besides the joke ones in gag shops?)

3. Putting all the responsibility on the young men just isn't fair. The young women should take some responsibility, too, and female condoms are firmly necessary.

4. Latex allergies. Can you imagine the outrage from all those parents who got all hot and bothered about nuts and stone fruit? Boy oh boy. I wouldn't want anyone exposing my kid to such danger, I know that.

5. They're still very impressionable, and sex with a condom just isn't the same. If they think that's what sex is like, they may grow up not to like it. How will we convince them it's really much better than that when they can finally get the birth control pill in middle school?

6. Also, it's retarded.

*I just now found out the school is in Provincetown, and I was quite unsurprised.

Shag Scarf and Watermelon

2010-06-15T13:41:00.000+08:00

I borrowed Knitting New Scarves by Lynne Barr from the library today. In between napping all evening and packing my lunch for tomorrow right before bed (I'll explain in a sec), I managed to cast on the Shag scarf (Ravelry link; sorry nonmembers).

It's pretty neat-o. My own husband, after I tried to explain to him how it works, called me a witch and told me not to show the townspeople.

About the napping thing: I seem to be having awful withdrawal symptoms from the artificial hormones. I thought I was having a mini heart attack at the gym today, but forced myself to complete a 15-minute workout anyway. I usually put in an hour a day, but the shaking, nausea, lightheadedness, weakness, and chest pain did me in prematurely. I also noticed my face breaking out today, and I've been experiencing some heartburn for the last week or so. Yesterday marked one week to the day that I should have been using birth control, and my body is kinda freaked out that I'm not. I'M freaked out that I ever was! After some rest and some knitting, I feel a bit improved.

I finished this table runner this weekend while Dan was mountain biking with some coworkers. For a long time it has only needed buttons for seeds. I finally found the right ones at Creation Station in Buellton, CA. They're not exactly what I had envisioned, but they're even better. They're not quite black, and they have some greenish marbling. Much more organic and kinda quirky.

Can you spot the kitty?

And just in time for summer! (My good friend Vicki bought all the fabric for me for Christmas, so I can't take any credit for the incredible colors! The free pattern is here if you want to make one.)

I also pieced, lined, and backed another runner. I still have to quilt and bind it. It's much too large for this table, so it will have to stay on the dining table if anything. I hope to show you soon!

Happy 3rd Birthday!

2010-06-14T12:36:00.000+08:00

Keillor moved in with us a year and a half ago today. He was a stray, estimated to be about one and a half years old, so we made my half-birthday his birthday.

I made Chocolate Stout Cupcakes (with a crumb top and sprinkled with fine sugar) from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World. I got mine used for about eight bucks. I'm pretty sure, after looking at all the recipes and making one of them, if I could only have one dessert-y cookbook, this is the one I'd keep forever.

Keillor's not a fan of sitting still while his parents take advantage of him on his birthday.

He's also not a huge fan of chocolate cake, but his parents are. So happy birthday, kitty!

Gorgonzola Champions!

2010-06-08T10:37:00.000+08:00

Dan and I went to Santa Barbara on Sunday to do a 27-mile bike loop (during which I found out how freaking strong my legs have gotten in the hours I spend at the gym every week).

We visited The Brewhouse to have the homemade potato chips covered in melty Gorgonzola crumbles -- probably for the last time before we decide to go vegan. We just happened to show up at the exact moment the games began! We answered questions, won tickets (I won a ridiculous amount by yelling out stupid -- but surprisingly correct -- answers to the sports questions), and then won not a single prize the whole time.

UNTIL...

The table round!!

Consideration was given to the best name, but the real skill required inventing three beer names relating to basketball (Go Lakers!).

(We've been calling ourselves Awesomenauts for a long time.
It's a long story involving traveling to all the planets,
but I can't get into that right now.)

We won the grand prize! ("4th Quarter Porter" was the judge-lady's favorite.)

And now we have to go back next weekend (oh, darn) so we have a chance to use that brunch certificate before it expires ('cause the weekend after that we're going to San Diego for Dan's birthday)!

Lesson learned, Sunday-afternoon brewpubbers: don't mess with an English major and general smartypants when it's time to play with words!

Goodbye, little buddy.

2010-06-04T11:38:00.000+08:00

Guacamole
2004? - June 3, 2010

Guacamole passed away peacefully today.

We adopted him years ago, an abandoned ferret stained green from nasty bedding. He slowly faded back to white, but his crazy attitude never changed, even when he was ill.

We love you, Guacamole. We will miss you.

Birdies and Brownies

2010-05-31T12:42:00.001+08:00

Today I test-knitted this Itty Bitty Birdie pattern for Emily Ivey of Yarn Miracle.

It's super easy, super fast, and (best of all) super cute. Be on the lookout for this pattern when it hits her Etsy shop. If you can't wait (or can't knit), you can buy pre-knit organic cotton Itty Bitty Birdies instead!

Mine is made with Caron Simply Soft (which is so non-organic it's not even funny) in Chocolate and Sunshine. With Dan's help, I named him Chocobo (pronounced "chokko-bo" like chocolate because he's brown).

Then after dinner I was checking her blog for things I may have missed (pictures are blocked from my Google Reader at work*). I went back too far and rediscovered this amazing recipe for a teeny tiny batch of brownies.

I put roasted and lightly-salted whole cashews on mine (but at the bottom of the bag, they're more like chunks and pieces). They're delicious!

I'll try not to be such a delinquent anymore. I do have more cool things to show you!

*Yes! I got a job in that long absence from blogging! I also hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon and the top of Mt. Wilson, joined an overpriced gym and lost a few pounds, and officially decided to stop using prescription birth control (but it's not what you think; there are no babies involved -- and that's another whole blog post entirely).

Beaches and Socks

2010-05-04T02:29:00.001+08:00

I watched "Fried Green Tomatoes" a few weeks ago, and that got me on a weird kick to watch all the movies I remember my mom and aunt getting all gushy about. Except the only one I could come up with was "Beaches."

Today I finished knitting the matching green baby sock for my friend's new baby girl while I watched it. I can see how people who tend to cry at stuff would cry at this, but that's not my style. Definitely a pretty good movie, though.

It's weird to think of my mom watching this movie fifteen or more years ago and not knowing that her daughter would hang out at the Hollywood Bowl and all those beaches they tried to pass off as being Atlantic City or Miami. So much has changed since then...

(The socks are Basic Baby Socks by Katherine Foster. I knit the first pair with Lion Brand Sock-Ease in Cotton Candy. The green ones I finished today are Knit Picks Stroll Kettle Dyed Sock in Spruce. Ravelry pages here and here.)

Interesting

2010-05-02T04:22:00.000+08:00

I started ECON 500 today. (One more class after this and I'm officially certified in business administration!)

CSUN is using Moodle now instead of the more expensive WebCT, so I had to fill out my profile with my updated information for my classmates to see.

My interests section is pretty revealing about who I am these days.

knitting, crocheting, quilting, hiking, camping, barefoot running, vegan baking, hoppy beer, female rock stars, ferret legalization, road trips, vintage Pyrex, thrift stores, depressing realism in fiction, Christmas music, tofu

Kind of funny to put it all in writing, but there ya have it.

Blue Like Jazz

2010-04-26T07:52:00.001+08:00

I really, really hate religious books. They're so freaking cheesy and lofty and usually quite useless. I want a book in this category to at least hint at what I'm supposed to do with all that cheese. They usually don't.

I started reading Blue Like Jazz with hesitation, certain it would make me gag. But a friend gave it to us, claiming it really did something for him, so I was determined to suffer through it if I had to. At least I could speak intelligently about how bad it was when I was done.

The poor thing had the disadvantage of immediately following a Bill Bryson book in my reading line-up. No one does first-person narrative like Bryson. Donald Miller uses weird sentence fragments and says, "Well, that's not what I really mean, but you know what I mean" more often than I liked, but I got over it. The sort of silly off-the-cuff style becomes charming. I warmed up to it, liked it, loved it, and got so involved with the words I read the whole book in about a day. It was like a letter from a quirky weirdo who actually has some stuff figured out.

And I like that he smokes and drinks and likes hippies and homos. He even listens to Wilco and Ani DiFranco. This guy is real.

I got pretty teary-eyed, even (page 125, I think). At the end, I was almost teary-eyed, but more excited than anything. My heart was all poofy and wiggly-feeling. It was like closing a letter from a friend -- a letter that has shown up at just the right time.

I'm ready to do some things differently now.

For one thing, I'm apologizing openly now for not loving people enough. I'm sorry for anything I've done to further the bad impression people have of Christians. That's not what I am. That's not what most Christians are.

There's more I want to do to be better at this thing (life, Christian spirituality, love, etc...), but I'm going to have my husband read this book first. Together, we can really move forward and make some important decisions.

Good stuff is gonna go down, folks.

Gratuitous Cat Cuteness

2010-04-25T07:30:00.000+08:00

This is Keillor sleeping.

He slowly wiggled into this position during his morning nap. He wedged himself between the arm of the couch (behind him) and my leg (to the left; it was up in the air, resting on the coffee table while I read). He slept this way for several minutes before slipping into a different (and almost as cute) position.

A while later I finished The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid, another completely fabulous part of the Bill Bryson oeuvre. I think I would have loved the '50s.

Yes I can! And did!

2010-04-23T00:45:00.000+08:00

Vicki (friend o' mine) wanted ice cream cake for her birthday. (She's never had one before!) I searched near and far for an ice cream cake without trans fat (I even ignored the fact that I would have to eat eggs -- just for her), but there wasn't a single one in town.

Plan B: Make vegan coconut cupcakes (I love this recipe) and buy nondairy ice cream.

Plan C: NO! If my Vicki wants ice cream cake, she'll have ice cream cake!

With much encouragement from my husband (it was actually his idea for me to undertake this seemingly impossible task), I did it! (I had to go to Trader Joe's and Target first, and ended up giving a stranger a ride to a location a couple miles past my house, and then had tons of cleaning to do, but I did it goshdarnit!)

It turned out those were trick candles. I thought so, but wasn't sure.
I was just glad to find I actually had birthday candles here.
But they were Vicki's first trick candles, too, so it was awesome!

I got out the Betty Crocker Bake'n Fill (only the second time* I've used it since I got it years and years ago, but now proving to be a very valuable asset), and looked at the included recipe book.

Naturally, Betty Crocker is a big fan of her customers buy more Betty Crocker products (two boxes of poisonous cake mix), but there were a few (eggy) recipes for cakes-from-scratch.

I used the Chocolate Mocha Cake with Chocolate Mousse Filling recipe, ignoring the mousse part of the recipe, and replacing the two eggs with Ener-G Egg Replacer. Worked like a charm. I used the tall pan and the base pan. The center was filled with vanilla soy ice cream from Trader Joe's, a layer of Trader Joe's Joe-Joe's chocolate cookies (I save the fillings for something else; keep reading) and then more ice cream.

I'm very glad there's another whole half-cake in the freezer!

And here's where I proved to be an utter genius. My usual method for making frosting is mixing powdered sugar, some kind of nondairy milk, and a bit of Earth Balance for creaminess. I had 12 little circles of fatty vanilla-flavored stuffing right in front of me! Surely those can be the fat in the frosting, right?

Oh, yes. Yes, they can. The frosting was so creamy and delicious (and speckled with real vanilla speckles!), and the perfect match for this super yummy cake.

And the birthday girl? Quite pleased with her first-ever ice cream cake, I'm very happy to say.

*Some may remember our first-ever knitting party? I made chocolate cake and stuffed it with chocolate pudding. Sorry about feeding you poison. We didn't know any better back then.

Birthday Socks

2010-04-22T14:27:00.000+08:00

These socks are very, very near the top of my favorites list. They're gorgeous, for one thing. And they're shockingly simple for such a fun lacy pattern: 24 lines total (but every other round is knit, and there are only two other different lines in the pattern).

I made them for my friend's birthday. I'm quite certain that she loves them (and who wouldn't?!). Now that I've given them away, I can tell you all about them. (Believe me, I thought about keeping them. But whenever I talk all tough like that you can be sure I'll never follow through. I'm just not mean enough.)

Pattern: Spring Forward by Linda Welch (from Knitty, Summer 2008)
Yarn: Knit Picks Stroll Kettle Dyed Sock in Spruce
Needles: US 1 / 2.25 mm (5 bamboo DPNs)

I found KelpKnit's super gorgeous Spring Forward socks on Flickr, followed them to her blog post about them, and copied her mirrored-sock technique. While I was finishing the first sock, I realized that to mirror them, one would technically start on row 13 of the pattern instead of 1 (she mentioned she started on row 12). What an absolutely fabulous idea! The mirrored sock takes the pair from great to perfect. I'm super glad I did it. Keeping track of where I was in the pattern wasn't even difficult (it may have actually been easier because it changed the way I tallied the lines in groups of 12 instead of 24).

This Knit Picks Stroll yarn is gorgeous, too. It knits like a dream, and it's completely machine wash- and dry-able (always good for gift-giving). I have a lot left over, too. I definitely need this stuff on my feet (though I still have a whole hank of Eggplant to myself). I'll resist the urge to make an identical pair, but I will be knitting this pattern again in the future.

Squash Tacos?!

2010-04-21T04:04:00.000+08:00

Why have I never had squash in a taco before?!

I found the recipe for Spicy Squash Tacos on Chow.com after signing up just so I could leave a comment about what the heck to do with fresh garbanzo beans. (One answer is to make Can-less Hummus. It's different, but good.)

I used about 520 grams of squash and 200 grams of onions. Instead of chili powder, I used 1 tablespoon of my homemade taco seasoning.

We ate the tacos on tandoori lavash bread because I couldn't get non-poisonous tortillas on short notice. It's a bit too thin and floppy, but totally delicious. Additional toppings were mozzarella cheese, limes slices (for squeezing), Better Than Sour Cream, salsa casera, sliced pickled jalapenos, hot carrots (they're pickled with onions and jalapenos), avocado, Tapatio, and Sriracha.

So delicious. You really should make these.

Next in my taco adventures are these Mushroom and Chile Tacos.

My Favorite Carbohydrate

2010-04-20T11:35:00.001+08:00

Around here, we call this "pillow bread."

The first time I brought it home from the market, Dan called it that and said he wanted a pita big enough to sit in like beanbag chair. It really is that soft.

It's baked by Global Bakeries, Inc. in Pacoima. I buy mine at Valley Produce in Reseda, CA.

I'm toasting little pita triangles right now to eat with the rest of the Spicy Squash Taco stuff we had for dinner. (More on that tomorrow!)

Roasted Tomato Soup

2010-04-20T03:48:00.002+08:00

I made roasted tomato soup for lunch today. I was inspired by a recipe I found online, but I changed it quite a bit, and mine is way better and easier. It's also:

vegan
fat-free
redonkulously delicious

You can do all the roasting and blending ahead of time and heat it up when you're ready to eat it. (Think: make it the night before if you have a job, then heat it up at work.)

Roasted Tomato Soup
(Serves 2 with small bowls of soup and a sammy.
Or eat it all by yourself in one big bowl. Recipe is easily doubled.)

1 lb (4 or 5) Roma tomatoes
3 cloves roasted garlic
1 cup water
fresh basil
salt + pepper
balsamic vinegar

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Cut tomatoes in half and place cut-side-up on foil-lined baking sheet (makes clean-up easier). Sprinkle generously with salt and pepper. You can put a head of garlic (wrapped in foil) on here, too, if you don't already have roasted garlic kicking around. (I keep mashed roasted garlic in the fridge now because I'm addicted. I even had it on a toasted English muffin with cream cheese this morning.) Bake for 1 hour.

Allow tomatoes to cool a bit so you don't hurt yourself. Place tomatoes, garlic, water, and basil (I used about 5 leaves) in blender (I use my good ol' Magic Bullet). Blend to smithereens. Add more salt and pepper to taste. Heat (or not; it was good cool, too) and add a splash of balsamic vinegar (about a teaspoon) before serving.

(But what's that sammy, you ask? Trader Joe's sprouted barley bread, cheddar Teese, Penzey's garlic salt, and Penzey's pasta sprinkle, made all melty and toasty on my little grill thingy).

Here in the States you call it a sausage in the mouth.

2010-04-18T01:05:00.000+08:00

(Arrested Development. Watch it.)

A new bar opened in Burbank last week, and we've already been there twice.

And now I'm not really sure how to continue. Dan and I discussed last night how no one can really understand how perfect this place is for us. To boil down the list of qualities that make Tony's Darts Away our new favorite place in the whole wide world, I'll say this: They have VEGAN sausages (!!!) and their beer list is divided into IPAs and not-IPAs. I don't know if you know me well enough to understand how important these things are (hint: we're total hop-heads). Also, their bar is sustainable, only serving California beer and wine, and all beers are on tap, meaning they create no waste. You must be at least familiar enough with my hippy tendencies to know how cool that is.

The first night (Wednesday), I had vegan kielbasa with onions, peppers, Vegenaise, and Dijon mustard.

Dan had vegan smoked apple sage sausage with onion, vegan cheddar, and Dijon.

We shared homemade chips with Cajun seasoning.

When we went back Friday night, we shared the apple sage again (they had run out of the vegan beer brat we wanted) with vegan cheddar, onions, garlic paste, and brown mustard.

And we shared sweet potato fries with maple-chipotle glaze and toffee almonds (also vegan).

Tony's has us thinking about sausage even more than the greasiest competitive eater in training for his next big show.

I want to go back right now. If we lived closer to Burbank, I think we would.

Goings-on

2010-04-11T05:51:00.001+08:00

First, the crochet.

I've been wanting a blanket like this one (it's a Ravelry link; sorry nonmembers) since I faved it in January. Just last week I remembered it again and thought about buying the yarn I need to make an equally gorgeous giant granny. Then, this morning, while I was thinking about how I'm on a self-inflicted six-month yard diet (unless there pops up a deal so amazing it would be dumb not to partake), I remembered I was supposed to be at a yard sale 45 minutes ago! A yard sale advertised as having "YARN YARN YARN CROCHET THREAD by the truck full." Of course I was going to be there.

So it wasn't the truck full I had imagined, but there was an old woman selling off her yarn on account of the arthritis that keeps her from knitting it. I bought 36 skeins for 50 cents each, and carried it all home in a big black bag. Dan's eyebrows confessed he should have come with me, but he was a good percentage as impressed with me as I was when I said it only cost eighteen dollars. Most of it is some kind of vintage Los Angeles-made worsted acrylic I've never heard of, but that just makes it all the more charming.

Holy cow that picture came out fabulous!
I had doubts about the colors when I looked at it on my camera.

Now I'm well on my way to having a huge granny square blanket meant especially for picnics. I'm going to try it out at the beach, but I think the little holes will let in just enough sand to be pesky. (I think a beach quilt is in order if so.)

And now the cooking.

Pretty much out of nowhere (or I could have forgotten why by now) I HAD to made spritz cookies last week. I've never made vegan ones, but this recipe turned out to be completely freaking awesome. I used a 21-year-old single malt Scotch instead of vanilla, just because I'm awesome/crazy like that.

When I saw the camel plate, I knew that was the only way to go.

I've never really had much luck with a cookie press. But this one, oh! It works like a charm! Maybe it has something to do with it being about 30 years old and probably never used before now. (I think I rescued it from being thrown away or donated one of the last times I was home before moving to L.A.) My anti-cheap-Chinese-crap sentiment also makes me think the proud little MADE IN USA logo might have something to do with it, too. I like the huge barrel (very good for getting all the dough in and pressing out the air bubbles), and the twisting mechanism (vastly superior to actually pressing out dough) made for dozens of perfect little camels!

They're so, so delicious -- much tastier than real camels, I bet.

This morning I made ranchero-style tofu scramble for breakfast, and we ate it on the patio.

Dan got me that owl mug for Christmas.
Everything tastes better in it or around it because it's so darn cute.

And then for lunch, like I actually needed to be even more amazing in the kitchen, I made vegetable maki. It was go time for a couple of avocados, so half the rolls were soloing the aguacate. No regrets, obviously, because that's pretty much my favorite anyway.

How am I supposed to top those two meals for dinner??

And lastly, the Keillor. Because he's so cute.

Our buddy Alex moved out of our spare bedroom a couple weekends ago and caught a plane to China. He works there now. Spare Oom is now back to its old self, and just dying for visitors. Keillor was caught napping on some unfinished projects I'd tossed on the futon in the great reorganization process.

We also cleaned off the patio, put all the bikes in a better place, and (obviously) have started dining out there whenever possible.

I have since thrown away the dead thing. I think it was basil.
Better luck to the basil in the foreground.

Keillor is learning "stay" but one of us ends up leaping over the fence to catch him every few visits to the patio. His attention span is close to nil.

And that's about it. Life in general is awesome right now, and we're feeling more and more blessed every day!

Now, back to crocheting -- and figuring out what's for dinner!

Oh, no! A snake!

2010-04-05T23:50:00.000+08:00

Two weekends ago Dan and I went on a big hike near Carpinteria. Looping back down from the top, we were hissed and rattled at by this guy.

Not real enough for you? Here's a video of him slithering away.

I don't know if I was more spazzy after I saw the rattlesnake, or this weekend after I saw Jeremy Davies in a vegan bistro in Ventura. Oh, man.

Blog Slogan

2010-03-30T04:58:00.000+08:00

It used to say "I would describe her more as a knitter than a doer." up there, but every time I see that, I sort of cringe. It's not really a cringe, but it's like a cringe.

I totally am a doer, and not just a knitter (though that's a big part of it), so I decided it was time for a change.

Sloganizer.net suggested this one after a few dozen clicks, and I thought the irony was pretty funny.

I am a knitter, and I am a doer, but I am most definitely not a legend. Yet.

By the way, the quote's from the book The Princess Bride, which someone borrowed from our collective work library way back when I had a job in Massachusetts, and he or she never brought it back to me. The book is as awesome as the movie, only awesomer.

Vegan Corn Chowder

2010-03-30T04:22:00.001+08:00

My father-in-law gave my mom his recipe for "Corn Chowdah" to add to the recipe book she made for my bridal shower. (All the ladies who came gave me one or two of their favorite recipes to be added to a small photo album. My grandmother even gave me some recipes in my great-grandmother's handwriting!)

I don't think I've ever followed his recipe exactly, and now that I never use cow milk in my house, the recipe has changed significantly -- almost beyond recognition.

For all my vegan or fat-watching buddies out there, here's my corn chowder recipe! Enjoy!

Vegan Corn Chowder

4 large russet potatoes, peeled and diced
1 large yellow onion, peeled and diced
1 15-ish-ounce can cream-style corn (you know, a regular can)
1 15-ish-ounce can regular corn (I used extra crisp whole kernel.)
2 cups original soy milk (You could use fat-free, but I already cut out a bunch of fat for you, believe me!)
2 tsp dried thyme
1 tsp garlic powder
salt & pepper

Cover potatoes and onion with water in large pot. Bring to a boil and cook for 10 minutes (until potatoes are tender). Drain off most of the water, leaving just a little (potatoes and onion will not be covered). Add corn, milk, thyme, and garlic. Add plenty of salt and pepper to taste. Heat through and serve.

(Note: You can use two cans of cream-style corn or two cans of regular corn instead. You could even add frozen corn. It doesn't really matter. I usually make this early in the day so it can sit for a long time, then heat it up again right before dinner. And really don't be shy with the salt and pepper.)

We like crushed saltines in our chowder. I also indulge in the occasional peanut butter sandwich with mine.

What do you eat with your corn chowder?

Eating Animals

2010-03-27T08:14:00.001+08:00

Just in case you don't catch this elsewhere...

I just finished reading Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer. If you eat food to stay alive or have (or will have) offspring who eat food to stay alive (and you love them), you must read this book because you must know the truth. I promise the author won't insist you become a vegetarian.

Please, please do it.

A Night at The Echo

2010-03-26T02:25:00.000+08:00

Dan and I went to the Echo last night to see Cymbals Eat Guitars. In the weeks between buying tickets and actually attending, we also got pretty excited about Freelance Whales who turned out to be opening. In the middle Bear in Heaven played.

And it was one of the worst experiences of my life, and definitely the worst show I've ever seen.

Freelance Whales were pretty cool. I had a hard time understanding them and finding all the instruments in the mash of sound, but I chocked it up to my own ignorance. I wish the girl sang more, and someone farted in the tiny crowded room (which the venue's great ventilation wafted all over so I have no idea where it came from), but other than that it was cool.

Dan found them on NPR (and they definitely look like people who would listen to NPR, don'tcha think?).

Next up was Bear in Heaven. I hoped they could sing and play better than they could make decisions about facial hair. (And I'm assuming they really really want to look like men who touch little children, so nothing I say will be offensive or surprising.) The first song was okay, but I guessed it wouldn't be my style (and figured again it was just a live-vs-recorded thing, and looked forward to looking them up when I got home).

His shirt says "SIGNALS," which was
definitely the coolest thing about this band.

It turned out their music was as creepy as they looked. It was loud, eery, and some other third thing I kinda lack the vocabulary for choosing. The guitarist made that gross sex-face the whole entire time, sometimes licking the inside of this mouth like The Joker licks the outside. I couldn't watch.

Sex-face makes me uncomfortable.

I did watch the drummer sometimes. He was kinda nuts -- drumming so hard and fast I could barely see his sticks (or I could see multiple sticks in the flashing lights!).

But then they pulled this awful bass-y synth thing that hurt my whole body so much I leaned against Dan to make him absorb some of the vibration. I still had to hold my throat so the vibrations wouldn't make me puke. So that was cool for one song, I guess, but then they pulled that crap again and I was fully ticked off.

Another issue I have is with drinking on stage. I'm getting over it, learning that it's just a thing some people do. The first band had one plastic cup of beer on stage that the keyboardist drank from occasionally, but Bear in Heaven had cans of Pabst! That just tipped them off the scale in lack of classiness.

And I don't think the singer could actually sing if it weren't for the reverb and/or other excessive voice FX I don't know the name of. He probably does a heck of a job, though, of sitting at home in his torn leather recliner, reeking of beer and stale nicotine, yelling at his wife and disobedient children. That's what that mustache and old-man look says to me.

Also, the farter struck twice more during this set.

And then Cymbals Eat Guitars. I'm not super familiar with their music, but as soon as they started playing, I recognized the music I've enjoyed immensely in our own living room.

More sex-face from this guy, but not as bad.

But still the sound was so loud (and I finally decided it wasn't my fault I couldn't understand anything), I eventually got tears in my eyes and couldn't hold back outright crying sometimes. I had flashbacks of being dragged to fireworks shows and race car events when I was a kid. I super-duper hate loud noises. I eventually asked Dan if we could move to the back of the room. I still couldn't take it.

When Dan had seen enough (they played a few of his favorite songs from the album we have), we left. I confessed to crying, he felt bad, I assured him it was okay and not his fault, and we pretty much vowed never to go back there again.

And it's not just me! Dan wrote a technical review of this horrible night for Google. Sharing fries, a decaf coffee, and a chocolate yogurt shake at Mel's Drive in after we left (and then reading that) made me feel all better!

Knitting Along with Mom

2010-03-25T04:45:00.000+08:00

My mom and I are doing the dishcloth KAL from Kris Knits. It has been loads to fun trying to guess what the picture is with each new clue and then seeing the results in the colors we chose.

Below are the January and February cloths. (Mine are on the left; mom's are on the right.)

It took us forever to figure out what February was! My mom almost ripped everything out after doing 5 of the 6 clues, figuring she must have done something wrong. I suspected a branch of some sort, but she wasn't convinced. She tried to take a picture with her phone for me to see if hers looked like mine, and as soon as she viewed it through the lens, she could see what it was! (Hooray for avoiding ripping out all that work!)

We're two clues into the March cloth. We're guessing it might be a basket, but the squarely stacked weaving is throwing us off...

And if it is a basket, what's inside?!

More Quilting Sickness

2010-03-23T09:36:00.001+08:00

My friend Vicki and I attended last weekend's quilt show hosted by the Glendale Quilting Guild. It was lots of fun (and the quilts were gorgeous), but the best part about quilt shows is coming home to use all the new stuff I always end up buying!

I finally gave in and bought the hexagons for English paper piecing. Could I get the nice big hexagons a normal person would start with? Oh, no! I insisted on getting the tiny ones so I could make a little flower basket like the vendor had on display.

No regrets! I love it! But I'm definitely going to get some larger hexagons, too, so I can make bigger projects when this one is done.

I also bought the pattern for Avocato in the Garden Patch Cats collection. (Vicki bought Podcats.) I bought a few fat quarters for putting it together, and then stopped at Jo-Ann's on the way home to get the rest of what I needed.

And today, not wanting to move around much (and sick of reading) after biking over 30 miles yesterday (and bloodying and bruising myself in a fall), I cut, ironed, quilted, and assembled the entire thing!

I'm going to hang it in my kitchen, though I haven't quite figured out how.

Keillor thinks it's weird (but would probably gladly use it as a cat-mat if I left it by the window for him).

In completely off-topic news, I read an enthusiastic review of The Story of Edgar Sawtelle (and then found out it's a Hamlet retelling), so I got it at the library this weekend. I'm only about a dozen pages in, but I'm already in love. I needed to start another book like I needed to start those two quilting projects, but I don't even care. I am happiest when I have too many choices!

Knock-Offer

2010-03-19T13:33:00.000+08:00

I'm getting pretty good at finding overpriced yarny goodness then going home and making it myself.

I did it with that Gap scarf I was so nuh-uh no-way not paying the $19.99 sale price for when I could see that it was just a bunch of cables and moss stitch.

And now I've done it with an Urban Outfitters pillow that I was no-way-Jose gonna pay 48 dollars for.

I gathered up some skinny-ish yarns and made a big ol' granny square, cut out two squares of green t-shirt-y fabric, sewed 'em all together, then flipped 'em right side out so the edge is all super pretty. Sewing yarn is a bit odd, but in the end you can't even see where it got a little scrunched and wonky in the machine.

It's not identical, but holy cow it's amazing enough for me, and I bet Urban Outfitters wishes they were selling this baby.

I also made this pillow in a fit of inspiration. The monochrome idea came to me out of nowhere, and now I want one in every color of the rainbow.

(Yes, Urban, I am available for hire in the housey stuff design department.)

Next up might have to be this throw I kept walking by in a little shop in Ventura a couple weekends ago. Except knocking this off will be more like sticking it to The Little Guy instead of The Man because I think it was made by a local artist. I might not even have to outright knock it off because I bet I can find a good-enough pattern for a cool square that I can make berjillions of in one boring solid color and then have a gorgeous afghan without being such a cheater.

Pretty soon I'm definitely going to take a picture of my living room just to show you how overrun it is with homemade yarniness. (And the living room isn't the only place I've got afghans and pillows piled up everywhere.) I think I've kept it from getting tacky, too, but I'm not sure how long I can keep that up.

Deer Breakfast

2010-03-18T00:41:00.000+08:00

My mom sent me an email this morning with some pictures of my dad feeding the deer behind their camp.

He was late feeding them one morning last week, and the deer were noticeably impatient. They crept closer as he threw the feed on the ground, but waited till he was a safe distance away before they really dug in.

From my mom's email: Amazing how non-skiddish they have become. He taps on the bottom of the bucket when he's done so they'll get used to it and know it's time to eat.

I'm not sure who likes feeding time more -- the humans or the deer? -- but it seems to be a good arrangement.

Soon the deer will retreat deep into the woods for the next few seasons, no longer relying on the free dry breakfast. But they'll be back next winter, and the humans will be waiting for them with a full bucket.

Vegan Raisin Bran Muffins

2010-03-17T01:27:00.000+08:00

It has become very clear to me in the last few months that Christians (one of the broader-termed groups of people I count myself among) cannot in good conscience eat factory-farmed eggs.* (If you have your own egg-laying hen, go for it!) I stopped using eggs at home years ago, but since this conviction, I've stopped eating them entirely (and I was quite the omelette fan, believe you me).

So I know very well by now that ya just don't need eggs for any good reason, anyway. And then something like this happens and I get all excited about how right I really am!

I give you...

Raisin bran muffins!

I used the Kellogg's recipe, but don't do that. Use this one instead:

Way Better (Vegan!) Raisin Bran Muffins

1 1/3 cup all purpose flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/3 cup unsweetened apple sauce
1/3 cup sugar
1 egg's worth Ener-G egg replacer (1 1/2 tsp replacer mixed with 2 tbsp water)
1 cup raisin bran (use a brand without high fructose corn syrup)
1/2 cup non-dairy milk soured with 1 tsp lemon juice (I used a low-calorie almond milk)
1/2 jam (original recipe calls for strawberry jam; I used blueberry fruit spread)

Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Mix the dry ingredients (the first 5 above) and set aside. Mix well the sugar and apple sauce. Add the "egg" and mix well. Mix in the cereal. Alternate the dry ingredients with the milk, blending well after each addition. Fold in the jam. Divide batter evenly in 12 paper-lined muffin cups. Bake for 20 minutes. (Poke with a toothpick just to make sure they're done.)

Each muffin, depending on the specific brands you use, is about 110 calories! That's 70 calories below Kellogg's recipe -- per muffin! -- and you're skipping out on all the other disgusting things in HFCS, eggs, and dairy!

UPDATE: There's no fat in these babies, so they've proven twice to stick to the papers, and they just won't let go! I'd skip the papers next time (just lightly grease the tin or we'll probably have a way bigger problem).

*I'm not going into detail, but if you're interested in exploring this, I recommend starting at Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer. This is the best book I've read on the truth about the foods we eat (and why we eat them).

Mission Peak Solo

2010-03-05T08:20:00.001+08:00

I hiked Mission Peak alone today.

The air was cool, the sun was bright, and the sky was almost smogless.

(If you click on the picture to get the big version you can see downtown!)

On the way up, a hawk flew so close I could see the brown and yellow stripes on his tail. Near the top I saw another hawk that was hovering so still, his eyes focused on something in the canyon below, I thought he was a kite. But his belly was so poofy (not unlike a pug puppy with wings), and there weren't any other people around, so he had to be real. I saw him move just a little in the couple of minutes I watched him.

It's not easy to capture the winter colors in California with an outdated camera phone. Everything is green, and right now all the purple plants are in full bloom. Soon the yellow wild mustard and orange California Poppies will be here.

Hiking Mission Peak is something I'd like to do weekly. It's not hard, but it's a great workout. And the views are lovely.

I really, really love Los Angeles.

Free Stuff!

2010-03-02T07:33:00.001+08:00

This post will be updated with free stuff I want to give you. Everything's Kimberly Approved! It's all cool stuff that I can't get any money for, but don't want to just donate.

If you want it, lemme know (email me at kimberlypye AT gmail DOT com). You don't have to give me anything in return, but please only take something if you really really want it!

(And to keep my shipping costs down, I'm only sending to peeps in the U.S. But I can be bribed.)

*Nothing here right now. Check back later!*
(Actually, a lot later. I'm in China until well into 2012.)

The End of Things

2010-03-01T12:58:00.001+08:00

February 2010 is over, and that means Thing-A-Day 2010 is also over.

Thing-A-Day is weird. Some people make things I'd say are outright stupid (think: "Today I MADE my bed!"), or less stupid (but I still can't respect it) like, "I couldn't think of anything, so here's a picture of myself I took with my web cam before falling asleep just to say I did something." Other people are super creative and true artists, drawing a really cute bunny or making a whole new musical instrument every day.

Some people don't post on time, but get caught up eventually. Some people drop out forever after just a few days.

Everyone's got their own style and their own idea of what Thing-A-Day is.

For me, Thing-A-Day is month-long challenge to push myself a little harder. This year, I only used supplies I already had, especially supplies I had in excess (that means lots of yarn and fabric). I didn't work on a project already in progress, and I finished everything in one day (unless it was a larger project that required two of the same thing, like mitts -- which I did finish before the end of the month). I also never repeated a pattern; everything is unique. I posted my project every day before midnight, even if that meant taking a horrible camera-phone picture in the dark basement of a restaurant out of town.

And now I have 28 new things I probably would have taken months to finish otherwise! Some things I'm giving away, and other things I hope to keep around for years and years.

So now I have mixed feelings. Some days I struggled with what I could possibly make, sometimes having to plan ahead for weekends away from home. A few times, out of complete lack of inspiration, cast on for yet another dishcloth (in a new pattern, of course!). Other days I was so excited, I started sewing or knitting as soon as I woke up. Kinda glad it's over; kinda wish someone would make me do that every day in March, too.

To cope, I look forward to 2011, and I remember that I still have all those mad skillz for the next 12 months, and I can still make great things.

And next year? Another crazy crafty challenge to see what I'm made of!

Magical Meatless Loaf Machine!

2010-02-27T05:25:00.000+08:00

I needed a recipe for lentil loaf, but everything on the first page of Google results had a weird ingredient I either didn't want to leave the house to buy (oatmeal) or have to thaw (tofu). Page 2 yielded a blog that linked to a magical loaf machine.

At The Magic Loaf Studio, you can "Design Your Own Adventist-Style Vegan Dinner Loaf!" (This is one more reason I want some Adventist friends. Actually, maybe I don't need them now that I can loaf like a pro!)

I picked only ingredients I already had (so I didn't have to leave the house; this is a theme in my life), and it came out freaking fantastic. I chose "salt," but used garlic salt, and I used half the oil the recipe calls for, but other than that, I didn't change a thing.

You REALLY need to try this. Mine was so good, I'm sharing the recipe here with my tiny modifications, but do try your own someday!

Kimberly's Magical Lentil Loaf

1/2 cup sunflower seeds
1 TB vegetable oil
One onion, diced (I used a red onion.)
One large garlic clove, minced
One large carrot, peeled and grated
2 cups cooked lentils (I used red lentils.)
1 cup dry whole wheat bread crumbs (I Magic-Bullet-ed a 40-gram slice of Ezekiel 4:9 7 Sprouted Grains bread.)
1/4 to 1/2 cup plain nondairy milk, as needed (I used just a tiny bit of unsweetened Whole Grain Drink from Trader Joe's.)
3 TB tapioca flour
1/4 tsp. dried thyme
1 tsp. dried basil
1 tsp. ground cumin
Freshly ground black pepper, to taste
1 tsp. garlic salt

Preheat the oven to 350º. Spray a loaf pan or 8x8 square baking pan with nonstick spray and set aside (an 8x8 pan makes a crisper loaf). (I used a loaf pan.)

Grind the sunflower seeds into a coarse meal using a food processor or spice/coffee grinder. Place in a large mixing bowl and set aside.

Sauté any vegetables you've chosen in the vegetable oil until soft. Add to the large mixing bowl along with all the remaining ingredients. Mix and mash together well, adding only as much liquid as needed to create a soft, moist loaf that holds together and is not runny (you may not need to add any liquid if the grains and protein are very moist). Add more binder/carbohydrate as needed if the loaf seems too wet.

Press mixture into the prepared pan and bake for 45 minutes to 1 hour, or until cooked through.

Let the loaf cool in the pan for 10 to 15 minutes, then turn out onto a plate or platter and slice.

(Sliced-up leftovers for lunch. Incredibly less disgusting
and way more healthy than dead cow.)

(Thank you, Jennifer McCann for this fabulous program! I'm going to use this all the time!)

Vegan Cookbooks

2010-02-25T01:27:00.000+08:00

I was just about to reply to a second Twitter friend with vegan cookbook recommendations. That doesn't seem very efficient, does it?

I'm not ashamed to boast of my mad baking skills, and I'm a pretty good cook, too. For a long time, most of my cooking was off-the-cuff with what's in the fridge, but giving up meat complicates things a bit if you don't know the proportions of chickpea flour and wheat gluten to make delicious cutlets. I have since started using recipes quite a bit more often.

Free recipes online:
Food Gawker. Scroll all the way to the bottom to select Vegetarian or Vegan. Incredible food-porn quality photography will lure you in, so plan accordingly.

VegCooking. I think these are mostly user-submitted, but the blog has recipes too.

Veganize It...Don't Criticize It! And the blogger is going to open a small restaurant around these parts one of these days! What has two thumbs and is going there ASAP? This guy!

My favorite books:
Veganomicon. Hands-down the most fabulous vegan cookbook. It's like Joy of Cooking for veggies (the people, not the food; Joy of Cooking is great for cooking veggies the food).

Peta's Vegan College Cookbook. I think I got this right about the time a third person moved in with us, so I haven't used this much. I did make a salad dressing that was delicious, but it's definitely a 1- or 2-person cookbook.

Joy of Vegan Baking. Of course. I really, really love this book. You'll need to buy Ener-G or Bob's Red Mill egg replacer if you want to make everything in the book, but it's about time you stop being afraid of that stuff anyway. (I finally made my favorite double chocolate chip cookies for the first time since I stopped buying eggs, which was years ago, and the results were as fabulous as ever!)

That's three in either category for ya. There are plenty of other awesome web sites and books out there. Borrow them from the library before you buy them, and you'll never be disappointed. I also have a lot of other vegetarian/vegan cookbooks in my cupboard, but these three are my go-to books I would take to a deserted island with a full kitchen and full range of ingredients.

As always, ask away if you want to know more! And check out my "Interview with a Vegetarian" post for more about vegetarianism (with a link to an old vegetarian recipes post I did).

Two straight days of quilting

2010-02-20T07:10:00.000+08:00

My quilting buddy came over yesterday, and we made a fantastic mess. (Actually, she was pretty neat. It's MY stuff that's still all over the dining area.)

She's working on a Happy Hour quilt in black, white, and bright green. (I should have taken a picture. It's fabulous.)

I worked on my scrappy patchwork quilt. Keillor helped us both by messing everything up and occasionally punching a claw-hole in the fabric. Oh, he's just precious.

Somewhere in the middle of all of that, we made an incredible vegetarian sushi feast for dinner. I can't believe how easy it is and how long I avoided making it. What a goof.

I did more quilting today for Thing-A-Day. I made this simple table runner for the long table in our living room. The weather is just getting too nice for the wintery one to stay there.

Here's a close-up of the fabrics I used:

I got all of them at Marden's last time we went to Maine. All things considered (price, quality, selection, etc.), Marden's (any location) is my favorite fabric store of all time. I think this whole thing cost me about $2.00, and I have scraps left over. (I don't remember how much the back fabric cost. I bought it at Wal-Mart a bajillion years ago, so it's probably fully depreciated* by now.)

While I was hand sewing the binding to the back of it, I watched "How to Make an American Quilt" on Netflix Watch Instantly. It should be called "How to Have an Affair with Your Sister's or Friend's Husband and Get Away with It Because It Doesn't Matter Anyway." Pretty awful. But Wynona Rider was her typical cute self, and the finished quilt at the end of the movie almost made it worth it.

I've promised Dan that I'll have this place looking like I was never even here (expect that I will still be here), so I'd better get off my bum and start cleaning up the fabric explosion.

Happy weekend!

*I may in fact be turning into an accounting nerd.